mike.whybark.com

holy shit it’s like 9/11 in there – 02:55 AM GMT
my darling wife is first-generation American. Her parents and siblings were all born in Cuba. – 02:59 AM GMT
More than fifty years after they arrived here, my in-laws still have rich, dense Cuban accents. – 03:00 AM GMT
Among the stuff my wife kept with her when she moved up here is a childhood manuscript, from like first grade or whenever you first write. – 03:01 AM GMT
When we found it, we were confused by the child-wife’s description of (now now, that’s my wife when she was a child, settle down, peanuts) – 03:02 AM GMT
her description of her favorite sandwish. She loved, above all, the peeno botr. – 03:03 AM GMT
Tonight, we’re on the phone and my father-in-law asked how Pinot was doing. I was confused, as Pinot is a neighbor’s dog he has not met. – 03:04 AM GMT
After a great deal of verbal wrangling (“I’m not shouting, I’m Cuban!) it was made clear they were asking about our resident. Stellar’s Jays – 03:06 AM GMT
We feed them peanuts, and they come looking for them. – 03:06 AM GMT
As a result, we call “PEA-NUT” to bring them to the yard, and that is their name, “Peanut.” – 03:07 AM GMT
So my father-in-law was asking not after Pinot, but Peanut. My wife’s favorite sandwish? Peanut butter. – 03:08 AM GMT
@esinclai she wants the tee – 03:09 AM GMT
@esinclai well, flatteringly small, one hopes – 03:12 AM GMT
@LeavittAlone don’t even joke homes – 03:12 AM GMT
@gjcharlet @LeavittAlone single-occ? – 03:13 AM GMT
@gjcharlet well, after a life like that, some uh (gendernoun)spreading seems alright – 03:15 AM GMT
@LeavittAlone YE BANSHEE ME BAIRN – 04:11 AM GMT
“Under the Skin” tongiht. Fully tight. – 04:18 AM GMT
@emilypostpunk doin it roight – 04:26 AM GMT
so i’m a dumbass and can’t site search or google the quit button on mefi. help. – 04:46 AM GMT
found it, nm – 04:52 AM GMT
@matthewbaldwin when do you show up on the lawn of the dead kid’s parents, posse in tow, child in arms? – 04:57 AM GMT
@mubay fucking hate it – 04:57 AM GMT
@mubay but i grok – 04:58 AM GMT
@jbushnell @naxuu nax, this reminds me, do due dilly here, it’s up the scarcity/demand alley. think you’ll dig. henryart.org/​exhibitions/​an… – 05:10 AM GMT
@naxuu @jbushnell the ‘9x thing in the same space was amazeballs. img srch: google.com/​search?q=ann+h… – 05:41 AM GMT
@naxuu @jbushnell google.com/​url?sa=t&rct=j… – 05:42 AM GMT
@sculpin unknown at this time – 05:57 AM GMT
RT: @wsdot_traffic: Seeing slowdowns in our typical spots. NB 5 into Seattle jamming up like the @Seahawks will jam up the @Panthers running game. – 04:26 PM GMT

The dude built himself and his son Mercury-era mock suits and a freaking transparent red Mercury capsule. Hell yes. – 07:42 AM GMT
Mercury capsules are important in Indiana space iconography because Gus Grissom is from Indiana and there is one on display at his memorial. – 07:43 AM GMT
Grissom Memorial in Spring Mill State Park. roadsideamerica.com/​story/​9780 – 07:44 AM GMT
whoop, that’s a Gemini capsule at the memorial. The point stands. – 07:46 AM GMT
well shit goddamn motherfucker – 02:10 PM GMT
RT: @brownpau: “Dentist Princess” appears to be the hot new kids’ game subgenre on the App Store. pic.twitter.com/​yvXMrxw3mL – 02:12 PM GMT
rough story prompt tweet count currently at 35. actual story prompt total less. – 03:04 PM GMT
RT: @YearbookOffice: A Practical Guide To Getting Lost In Space by @wedgexyearbookoffice.com/​lost-in-space-… – 03:12 PM GMT
@YearbookOffice @wedgex @ardaniel handy considering my brian currently – 03:12 PM GMT
uh – 10:51 PM GMT
pic.twitter.com/​0MV8AXoH6P – 10:52 PM GMT
they’re watching – 10:52 PM GMT

@AriTruscan i loved it when i was a kid. as an adult, not so much – 04:48 PM GMT
@LeavittAlone OMG John John I am remembering being traumatized by a Brenda Starr strip continuity from the early Seventies! – 06:01 PM GMT
@LeavittAlone Someone (Brenda? a child?) has been kidnapped by bad mens. There is conflict. As punishment, the bad mens BREAK HER FINGERS. – 06:03 PM GMT
@LeavittAlone or maybe even amputate them? I don’t know. I remember FREAKING THE FUCK OUT, crying uncontrollably. I was, like, seven? – 06:04 PM GMT
@LeavittAlone unluckily for my parents i was reading the comics in the same small room with them while they packed for a trip – 06:05 PM GMT
@LeavittAlone so one minute, all’s well, next minute, a child with comics-induced PTSD throwing a fullbody bodyhorror fit. Jesus. – 06:06 PM GMT
@LeavittAlone the event was like, shown, somehow, with CRAAACK sounds and EEEEYAUUUGH and oh god, i mean you can imagine – 06:07 PM GMT
@LeavittAlone now and then I remember this and vaguely try to find the strips, seems like last time i tried was before online paper archives – 06:08 PM GMT
@LeavittAlone you would think this would have been at least controversial, but i haven’t ever turned up a controversy, so … – 06:09 PM GMT
@LeavittAlone … it’s possible that i misinterpreted something in the strip or misremember a tantrum or something. but still. – 06:10 PM GMT
@LeavittAlone CAAARAAAACK CRACK – 06:10 PM GMT
@LeavittAlone *shudder* /bites pillow, stimpy eyes full of tears – 06:11 PM GMT
@LeavittAlone with terrifying sound FX typography. – 06:13 PM GMT
manmade black pinholes become primary power sources on long-duration space missions. Cumulative temporal effects unhinge crews, lead to war. – 09:33 PM GMT
RT: @jccabel: Working on the fabulous Stephanie Foo. @imontheradio #wip #outonthewire pic.twitter.com/​4jT8tv9I7T – 09:38 PM GMT
aesthetic appreciation, deep meditation, & ecstatic exaltation harnessed as primary energy sources. Nations compete to etiolate the masses. – 09:47 PM GMT
@arthurwyatt @DanEngler GREENWOOD MURDER ZONE – 10:17 PM GMT

orbital mission crews are funded based on clickrates for published material on the NASA content aggregation/distribution network – 02:12 AM GMT
once a week, the leading clickfarmer becomes the ISS click-commander. once a year, a billionaire is chosen to visit and distribute gifts. – 02:13 AM GMT
The leading space billionaires choose the gift-distributor via fistfights and simulated assassination attempts – 02:14 AM GMT
Glengarry Glen Ross but on the ISS – 02:16 AM GMT
An ISS crewmember unwittingly ingests amantia muscaria and it turns out the water recycling system can’t pull out the psychoactive alkaloids – 02:19 AM GMT
@sumit high praise, sir. Thank you! – 04:33 PM GMT
pro-life patriarchal fundamentalism extends taboos to spermatozoa, forbids exposure to Van Allen belt. Space crews restricted to women. – 04:43 PM GMT
RT: @JoeTheDough: Twitter enjoyment suggestions: Seek out an engaging and kind Louisianan funeral director. – 04:55 PM GMT
RT: @seattledot: SR 99 NB is closed at the Battery St tunnel due to a collision. All lanes are blocked, use alternate routes pic.twitter.com/​9KeTDzHmgs – 07:02 PM GMT
seriously, epic blockage, dump truck dude – 07:03 PM GMT

@praguepainter gonna rerun those tweets w/o reply mode, i like them – 06:28 PM GMT
space helmets with built-in electrostimulation circuitry designed to provoke ecstatic visions – 06:29 PM GMT
cronenbergian p-suits with intimate gripstim tech – 06:29 PM GMT
continuous microburst twitchercize to maintain one-gee muscle tone. drugs to suppress labile sentiment and slow nostalgia – 06:30 PM GMT
a crew in orbit given the task of creating novels and paintings under exquisite minute-by-minute checklisted protocol – 06:30 PM GMT
bioengineered toxoplasma gondi that only reproduce in zero-gee tailored to subtly modify astronaut behavior and psychology, astroplasmosis – 06:33 PM GMT
ISS becomes host to super-MRSA, crew quarantined until new family of antibiotics available a generation later – 06:37 PM GMT
Astronaut qualification limited to identical twins due to quantum-entanglement brain-implant commsets that require duplicate installs – 06:49 PM GMT
every single one of these getting a one-pager in the writer’s guild registry oh yeah – 06:50 PM GMT
radiation safety for long-duration missions requires biomodification of crew, turning them permanently black – 06:52 PM GMT
Burn extra calories while you walk. Ankle weights are not intended for walking or running. pic.twitter.com/​F6K44D1DYs – 07:02 PM GMT
RT: @Medievalists: Medieval Black Magic medievalists.net/​2015/​01/​04/​med… pic.twitter.com/​PHNDkN7h9X – 07:03 PM GMT
Long duration mission crew reports murder but is actually covering for crewmember hiding from biomonitoring for reasons related to religion – 07:06 PM GMT
@clarissawam same box describes them as 5lb but actual weight is 2lb adjustable to 5lb. Wondering if they might actually be water wings. – 07:07 PM GMT
Returning astro crews develop extreme fetish fixation on isolation and confinement in personal sexual preferences – 07:08 PM GMT
help it’s like i’ve unleashed a tiny jg ballard inside my head send help – 07:09 PM GMT
.@DanEngler we’ll repair to the workpod – 07:09 PM GMT
competing astrogarb design companies become primary funders of ISS, crews required to change garb several times a day. – 07:11 PM GMT
Major League Baseball bids for, acquires astrogarb business. Flown gear supply chain implemented, replicas widely promoted. Nike sues. – 07:13 PM GMT
@praguepainter oh hell yes, I love Malzberg – 07:14 PM GMT
@praguepainter isfdb.org/​cgi-bin/​ea.cgi… looking over this, know i’ve read novels but somehow not sure which. Definitely “Spree” SF histories – 07:17 PM GMT
@praguepainter and short stories, tons of those – 07:18 PM GMT
@praguepainter argh, not “spree”, that’s aldiss. I have read Malzberg’s SF criticism, dig it – 07:19 PM GMT
@matthetube the world stands as one in mourning this pioneer of the space age. wasn’t there a guy that starved inside a duffel bag recently? – 07:44 PM GMT
@matthetube right, i did remember some spookish shit there. prolly the germ of my dystronaut tweet. – 07:46 PM GMT
@matthetube dystonaut, better coinage – 07:46 PM GMT
@matthetube “I put the trash on a piece of duct tape … even dealing with the trash takes forever.” theatlantic.com/​features/​archi… – 07:49 PM GMT
@matthetube i mean the quote there’s about food prep. i haven’t even started in on zero-gee autophagia. – 07:51 PM GMT
@matthetube orbital urophagia and subsequent psychedelic experiences – 07:54 PM GMT
@matthetube totally. kicked off my sudoballzberg tweets. – 08:56 PM GMT
RT: @sculpin: Told a guy that I’d read all of the Dune books including the final volume, _Imperial Mortician of Dune_. For a moment he believed me. – 08:57 PM GMT
orbital funerary rites. columbarium satellite. premium slots for vacuum mummification and storage. 2-way video comms for earthbound mourners – 09:01 PM GMT
spaceflown cans of low-orbit hard vacuum sold at Hallmark and 1970s black light novelty mall stores globally – 09:05 PM GMT
module 23 added to ISS. 12x12x12 cube w/featureless interior, centrally-located LED dreamachine light system, used for isolation processing – 10:08 PM GMT
mission specialists deploy shame photography, cut-ups of checklists in interactions with ground crew – 10:09 PM GMT

@rjl20 hey josh, there is a nonzero chance of heading to Conor’s tomorrow, let me ask Viv if she wants to go. – 02:01 AM GMT
Tonight: “The One I Love” with Elizabeth Moss and Mark DuPlass. A/V Club: avclub.com/​article/​spoile… /// loving this microgenre – 03:00 AM GMT
Tomb of Osiris! sploid.gizmodo.com/​archeologists-… – 03:29 AM GMT
@Johnny_Dale @phirephoenix “Shuddup, *ma’am*” – 06:01 AM GMT
“which I obtained through occult means” – Emily Nussbaum refers to her method of obtaining e01 of “Black Mirror”. nyr.kr/​1ztoMJQ – 05:33 PM GMT
@gjcharlet it’s zombis innit – 06:02 PM GMT
@gjcharlet tine-y zombies – 06:24 PM GMT
RT: @jonronson: I’m beginning to think Prince Andrew might make a terrible king. – 08:27 PM GMT

speaking of helmets pic.twitter.com/​AJtCLlsmVU – 12:02 AM GMT
@tclancy the Helidelphia Experiment! Ask if you can post it on Reddit. – 01:23 AM GMT
@tclancy … and I can kind of squint to see how. guy formed no longterm memories b/t zap and school, maybe? – 01:24 AM GMT
Get your beauty erst no matter where you are FOR TWENNYFI DOLLA halfoffdepot.com/​national/​43800… – 01:37 AM GMT
My mind keeps sliding away from the Armenian piece in this weeks NYer and over to an Armenian girl I once knew – 02:07 AM GMT
I mean, like, Armenian diasporite American. She was pals with my sister too. We’re current FB friends too. Her hubs is a jazz cat. – 02:08 AM GMT
He had a gig here on a weekend that Viv and I were out of town, so I didn’t ping them. Another time. – 02:09 AM GMT
She got in an argument with her then BF in 1987 and burst into the coffeehouse where i worked on night as my shift ended. – 02:10 AM GMT
“Who here wants to go see Warren Zevon and X tonight?” she announced to the assembled tea sippers. I practically leapt over the counter. X! – 02:12 AM GMT
I don’t think I even knew who Warren Zevon was. Anyway, I took off my apron and off we went, in her BF’s silver 380SE. – 02:12 AM GMT
In hindsight, there was a message directed at me, I think, which I did not see or note. The X gig was a bit sad, as Exene and John were … – 02:14 AM GMT
… on the outs, Exene pregnant with what I now know was Viggo Mortensen’s baby. But I had just missed them in 1982 and by god wouldn’t again. – 02:15 AM GMT
Except, of course, I hadn’t even checked ticket costs. So my friend’s provocative gesture was received gratefully and in total ignorance. – 02:17 AM GMT
This is, of course, because I am an emotionally miscued fool of near-legendary cluelessness and good will, very much like the Tarot’s fool. – 02:18 AM GMT
Following in that guy’s footsteps, if you will. – 02:19 AM GMT
@telemetrist oh right, filterable or view conversation or whatever. – 02:20 AM GMT
Tonight was “Belle,” UK period (1789) three-hanky number. Waaay better than it had to be. Fundamentally a period-piece romance. – 05:44 AM GMT
Recommended despite slightly clunky ending (swelling music over court statement of judgement regarding insurance law and, er, slavery). – 05:45 AM GMT
@arthurwyatt @middleclasstool @gjcharlet seriously, did you see what he did to those ikea units? – 05:50 AM GMT
@Ethan_Booker @misskeli Bob Newhart Show dentist – 07:26 PM GMT

RT: @marikamalaea: Gift of the year came from my bestie. Finally, china for people like us! <3 instagram.com/​p/​xSjwASouIU/​ – 12:10 AM GMT
@mubay stellar. are these the popes? – 02:42 AM GMT
FanFare thread on “Coherence,” cool. fanfare.metafilter.com/​921/​Coherence – 04:53 AM GMT
my big new years excitement: someone dropped needle on Dick Justice’s “Henry Lee” and I done shoutit all along too – 10:46 AM GMT
bin like to ten years since i slang that tune, yessir – 10:46 AM GMT
@pronoiac it was pretty great, still thinking about it. totally dug the zero-budget aspect. – 07:45 PM GMT
seriously, what is up with the gas prices – 08:21 PM GMT
resolved: obtain leather flying helmet and goggles in 2015 – 08:23 PM GMT
or possibly a pressure suit – 08:24 PM GMT
This is reasonably priced, to my surprise ebay.co.uk/​itm/​2314265935… – 08:26 PM GMT
this, less so. dig the goggles tho ebay.com/​itm/​3111814846… – 08:27 PM GMT
attn Art ebay.com/​itm/​1512982526… – 08:42 PM GMT
@telemetrist to facilitate stump removal? to find the old wrecked car? 😉 – 09:16 PM GMT
@telemetrist lol Noam, 2002: ‘drain the swamp’ theguardian.com/​politics/​2002/​… – 09:19 PM GMT
@arthurwyatt Art Heather wants you on FB m.facebook.com/​story.php?stor… – 10:21 PM GMT

@clarissawam a total loss, just a genius cut short. – 12:23 AM GMT
@LASTEXITshirts @arthurwyatt natch, I have this book. I’ll rummage it up next pub night – 12:25 AM GMT
@matthewbaldwin the old seattle freeze once again – 12:34 AM GMT
“The company now devotes much of its attention to promoting Dose, which in November received thirty-three million page views.” – 08:40 AM GMT
hm, apparently I would rather reread an Iain M. Banks book than the New Yorker tonight. But I should sleep. Magazine it is. – 08:57 AM GMT
“When you see the momentum, you’ll be laughing at how obvious it all was.” – 09:02 AM GMT

weird to hear about a mountain climbing death on a trail you have walked yourself – 05:07 PM GMT
@mcgee_gorgo i have actually heard good things about this book. but where? – 05:09 PM GMT
@mcgee_gorgo well, we’d really hafta ax 2am Tussin Mike. i can’t recall where i saw a good review, undoubtedly a postrockist snob pal on FB – 05:13 PM GMT
@mcgee_gorgo you will must needs provide a tweet review pls k thx – 05:14 PM GMT
speaking of twitter book reviews, I read The Martian and Let’s Explore Diabetes with Owls on the plane last night, a fairly spent $36 – 05:55 PM GMT
The Martian was total mind candy, utterly unchallenging, neo-Heinlein Engineer Superprotagonist “hard” SF. I loved it. – 05:58 PM GMT
Author’s love for NASA as it is – as it has been – drives the story’s, uh, atmosphere. As such the cascading improbabilities are forgiven. – 06:00 PM GMT
“Owls” is Sedaris’ most recent. His perspective has shifted some. It includes his taxidermy piece but not the one on his sister’s suicide. – 06:06 PM GMT
Don’t know if the suicide piece was excluded based on pub date or editorial considerations. Majority of pieces are reflective and familial. – 06:09 PM GMT
He’s not apologizing for using his family as the target of his satiric rage, but the essays clearly document a desired and deep connection. – 06:10 PM GMT
Thus the absence of the suicide essay, which is honest, earnest, heartfelt, self-serving, and self-deluding, is felt. – 06:13 PM GMT
So I’m going with “editorial choice.” The absence reflects the death. Unless the calendar says it can’t. – 06:14 PM GMT
In other news, it felt hell-yes good to rip through 500+ pages on paper in one sitting. Who’s yer reader? Who? That’s right, uh-huh, oh yeah – 06:16 PM GMT
Here are some worse years: 1968. 1972. 2000. 2001. 2004. 1928. 1914. 1936. 1941. – 06:21 PM GMT
I should totally make a clickbait list! what was that, ten? seven? – 06:25 PM GMT
nine! – 06:28 PM GMT
@esinclai oh, i’m a fawning fanboy, no mistake. I loved the suicide piece but it was clearly problematic, which may actually signify growth. – 06:39 PM GMT
@esinclai going to press with an essay which self-implicates, even by omission, was a first. leaving it out here works literarily. – 06:40 PM GMT
@esinclai I don’t see how anyone, even Michael Bay, could fuck it up. It’s “Gravity” on Mars, without character development or psychology. – 06:41 PM GMT
@esinclai it actually reminded me of that Buzz profile. “Fighter pilots don’t have emotions.” Nor do stranded Martianauts. At the time. – 06:43 PM GMT
@esinclai to be clear, I have no problem with this! I genuinely loved the book. It’s literally just problem, solution. Problem, solution. – 06:44 PM GMT
RT: @LungoDog: Hey @KIRORadio really enjoying listening to @TonyaMosley. More please. – 06:46 PM GMT
@misskeli @naxuu forgive my kibitizing, but from watching destination-based sales tax reqs roll out in US i have some observations – 07:15 PM GMT
@misskeli @naxuu how many sales have you had in tax jurisdiction X? Illinois (iirc?), for example, asserts nexus at destination – 07:16 PM GMT
@misskeli @naxuu meaning that online sales to cust in IL, (or wherever) according to IL authorities, have sales tax due to IL – 07:17 PM GMT
@misskeli @naxuu no matter where seller or goods are located. exact parallel to new VAT rules. – 07:18 PM GMT
@misskeli @naxuu for most sellers, Amazon and eBay actually make it impossible to calculate and collect accurate dest sales tax – 07:18 PM GMT
@misskeli @naxuu so in a way, the determination of collect and remit must be driven by the seller’s revenue. Sell a shitload in IL? collect. – 07:19 PM GMT
@misskeli @naxuu it is objectively IMPOSSIBLE for a small-biz owner. Dest based sales tax is the end result of several jurisdictions. – 07:20 PM GMT
@misskeli @naxuu state, county, township, city, special-boundary levy, etc. – 07:21 PM GMT
@misskeli @naxuu localities have a legit beef re lost taxes. now that bigs have monopoly, (amazon, whoever) … – 07:22 PM GMT
@misskeli @naxuu … the objective is to put in place rules that force small-biz to pay service provider(s) to manage tax collect/remit – 07:22 PM GMT
@misskeli @naxuu … but for most microbiz, even if the laws are not written to exempt, the practice will be to do so. How to remit $.002? – 07:24 PM GMT
@misskeli @naxuu so anyway. my $.002, not based on VAT experience but assuming similar structural objectives. funnel commerce thru bigs. – 07:25 PM GMT
@misskeli @naxuu so if I were an etsy or bandcamp seller based in US, I would just ignore this unless I had more than $X in EU sales. IANAL – 07:28 PM GMT
@misskeli @naxuu or an accountant. – 07:29 PM GMT
@naxuu @misskeli yep, literal buck passing – 08:09 PM GMT