How many metrosexuals does it take to sleep with a rejuvenile?

I Don’t Want to Grow Up!

Celebrated by market researchers and fretted over by social scientists, rejuveniles come in all ages but are mostly a product of the urban upper classes (free time and disposable income being essential in their lifestyle). Evidence of their presence is widespread. According to Nielsen Media research, more adults 18 to 49 watch the Cartoon Network than watch CNN. More than 35 million people have caught up with long-lost school pals on the Web site Classmates.com.

Good freaking jebus h. pogostick. What’s next? Does the Times own stock in some firm that makes this kind of stuff up?

Let’s make up some catchy marketing terms ourselves.

Hm, how about pudgy suburban technophiles – up and comers if there ever was! I think we shall refer to them as bigendians or perhaps rotuneers.

Ah! Multiply divorced marketing professionals sporting leathery artificial tans, stinking desparately of aromatic Calvin Klein unisex personal hygeine products: brass coiners or perhaps counterfitters. Nice Bruno Maglis!

Angry, economically displaced persons domestically and internationally: grumpies. Cheer up! You’re sure to die eventually, and then, none of this will matter!

Apartment dwelling dog-owners: commandogs. Sit, Fido. STOP BARKING! I – I don’t know what’s come over her, usually she just loves children!

Apartment dwelling cat-owners: pussyfeet. Dear, will you tell the upstairs neighbors to make the dog be quiet? It’s – it’s giving me a headache. I – I think I might cry.

Rural admirers of hard-core urban rap music: crystal mesh-backs. Because nothin’ sez lovin’ like four on the floor, a DeKalb cap, and NWA blastin out into the humid midwestern night. Oh, that, a case of Bud, a shotgun, and about a half-pound of crank.

I win! I win! It's meeeee

donk_100k_full.jpgThe Illuminated Donkey announced that when the counter over there rolled over to 100,000, a prize involving obscure 80’s films on VHS might be in the offing.

Well, I must be getting old, cuz I had nothing better to do between 11:50 and 12:15 tonight except to kick that puppy over!

No cheating or chicanery was involved – just good old Murrican know how and more computers than one man could ever possibly actually need. I even tried Lynx, for god’s sake, but it didn’t render the java, of course.

donk_100k_thumb.jpg

Using Cron to schedule iTunes

So, for reasons unclear to me, I have fallen into the habit of listening to the radio on my computer during the day as I work, playing streams via iTunes. I can play feeds from many stations all over the world, but mostly I stick close to home and listen to KUOW, the local NPR gabfest. I actually would prefer if it were a music station but I find myself more irritated than pleased when I listen to the local stations that occasionally play music to my tastes – either they are commercial, and the ads drive me nuts, or they are not, and the taste of the deejays doesn’t often reflect my own.

Lately my local station began airing an NPR-Slate coproduction at midday, Day to Day. I gave the show a try, but it just grates on me. It seems to be a considered attempt from NPR to broaden their base by incorporating contemporary journalistic perspectives that reflect a more conservative bent than often heard on NPR. It’s a project that fits well with the editorial objectives of Slate.

I’m reasonably sure the show’s doomed; I kinda doubt that droves of conservative radio listeners are tuning in to escape the mind-numbing palaver of Dr. Laura and Rush. Day to Day maintains the even-tempered, thoughtful, voice-of-quiet-reason presentation that’s the NPR house style, and as I understand it, that’s the specific element that puts non-NPR listeners to sleep.

So, as you may have noticed, I rarely write about negative news and entertainment consumption experiences. It’s not that I don’t have them, but it is that I don’t think my negative reaction to a given work, show, book, or what not is really, on balance, a positive contribution to discourse in the world.

However, in this case, I was sufficiently motivated to do something about it. Being me, I wrote an Applescript radio-station switcher for iTunes which allows me to set up a schedule with cron, so that during the day, iTunes will switch from station to station according to a schedule – so now, when Day to Day comes on, I find my self listening to WFHB, the non-NPR public radio station that morphed into broadcast existence from several strands of community radio organizations in my hometown shortly after I left.

I use Cronnix to set up the schedule. Cronnix is a GUI front end to cron. I believe that cron is included with the stock OSX install.

You’ll need to make sure you have ScriptEditor – get it from Apple’s Applescript site. I think you must register with the Apple Developer Connection to get the free download, but don’t recall.

Here is a link to a text-only version of the switcher script. Download it, open it in ScriptEditor, change the default values at the top of the script, and Save As > Application to a folder in your Home Library folder, specifically to ~/Library/iTunes/Scripts. The folder will also appear in the menubar for iTunes so you can run the script from within iTunes. When I save the scripts, I name it with the callsign of the station – so the sample script would be renamed as KUOW.

Here’s the part of the script you need to edit:

set myPlaylist to “a radio selection”
set theCallSign to “KUOW”

You need to change “a radio selection” to the name of a playlist which contains the streaming tracks you want to access – you could try it with the default “Radio” playlist, but I have not. Instead, I have a separate, much shorter list.

A note: the script looks for the callsign you enter in the name of the track – but not all radio stations keep that callsign, and when you access the stream, the name of the track may change. Finally, streaming tracks that have certain special characters or a long name may not be called accurately. It wasn’t a problem for me, but might be for you.

If you want to poke around to make this script better, Doug’s Applescripts for iTunes and the associated discussion board will be very helpful. Doug’s Applescripts for iTunes also offers a method to use iCal to accomplish some very similar stuff. I avoid the .Mac apps, though, after the email address bait-and-switch.

So what does the script do?

When it’s run, a voice will say “Switching to KUOW” or to whatever the callsign is you enter. Then it looks to see if there are mounted ejectable discs – that could be CD’s, DVD’s, Jaz, Zip, mounted disk images, whatever.

Then it looks for disc-related apps – Toast and iDVD, but you can add more if you want. Carbon Copy Cloner leaps to mind, actually.

If it sees you do have a disk mounted or one of these apps is active, it asks you if you want to continue. That’s to allow the user a chance to stop the script if you’re doing something that might make the radio streaming unwanted – installing something, backing up, ripping, watching a movie… stuff like that. It’s not the best way to ascertain, but it’s simple and you can always allow the script to continue.

Once that’s out of the way, the script will look in the specified playlist for the first track that contains the callsign you specified. I don’t think I have an explicit error handler in case of no match, but if there’s a problem – maybe iTunes is busy with a modal dialog or in a crucial burning phase – the script will speak, saying, “iTunes is busy at the moment.”

That’s it! I open the script, edit the call signs, and save each time as an Application, naming each applet with the callsign. Then you set up you schedule in Cronnix, and you’re in business.

Ink and Pixels

Tablet‘s posted my first comics column, Ink and Pixels. Sadly, a major section of the piece was cut, probably for space reasons. I spoke with an organizer of the InkSpot zines-and-comics forums at Bumbershoot, and really regret that the section didn’t get included in the article.

I interviewed Tatiana Gill for the article and reviewd Dave Cooper’s Ripple.

I think I like the format – but I’m still wavering about running straight Q&A versus rewriting the interview into 400-word features to lead the column.

Finally, I also secured the domain name “inknpixels.com” with the intention of doing some archiving and incorporating more material – such as regular capsule reviews and introductions to web comics site – but need to discuss this with the Tablet folks, I think.

The next installment of the column should include more substantal review material as well. One of the challenges in attempting to feature younger, self-published artists will be familiarizing mysef with their work. Fortunately, most of the people I’m coming across have websites.

Testing

Testing!

Code:

if
some stuff
else
some other stuff
end if

There we go.

If you care:

.code
{
font-family: Courier, Verdana, Arial;
font-size: 8pt;
line-height: 8pt;
font-weight: bold;
color: navy;
white-space: pre;
background-color: #FFC;
border: 1px solid Black;
width: 70%;
margin-left: 25px;
margin-bottom: 12px;
padding-top: 10px;
padding-right: 10px;
padding-bottom: 10px;
padding-left: 10px;
}

More on Palm ebooks

I briefly noted some palm ebook resources. Motivated by curiosity I purchased the Mark Twain set – it weighs in at about 8mb, and, yes, it appears to be the actual complete works of Mark Twain.

I know, of course, that the material for the Twain books – and most of the rest of the free classics available digitally – had come from Project Gutenberg, the repository for textual materials in the public domain. Which led me to some pondering.

Last year, my wife read the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy aloud – I had refused to provide her with plot details and this way we were able to share the experience before the second film arrived. The experience was very successful within our relationship, and we immediately began casting about for other books to read in this way.

We tried some postwar fantasy and SF, with no luck. So we tried the Fagles Illiad and Odyssey, to no avail. We haven’t tackled the Odyssey yet, but the Illiad is as boring as reading transcripts of the play-by-play at a football game. I suppose it might be of historical interest if you like the game – war, in this case.

Stanza after stanza of the heritage of this or that violent princeling followed by said princeling’s brutal death. Who cares? Not me, lemme tell ya.

Still, I have hopes for the Odyssey. Less endless killing, more clever tomfoolery, one is led to believe.

But alas! What to read?

Hm, sez I. Movie led to book, earlier. Hm. Isn’t there another recent film that takes some inspiration from classic adventure literature?

Seems to me that Treasure Island ought to be available for the Palm?

Happily, there are a fair number of other books in the genre, as well.

All that’s needed is a conversion utility. I saw a Perl one somewhere but didn’t bookmark, darn it.

Time Travel Spam

Correspondent John Dee forwarded a spam he received earlier this week, concerning the need of a time traveler for certain necessary pieces of equipment to whisk him away to his temporal point of origin.

I’d seen a similar spam some time ago, and I must admit I rather relished it, although I took it to be the work of a genuinely schizophrenic individual. Many years ago, I lived with a man who had very extreme schizophrenia, and he had a very well-developed suite of theories concerning the disconnects between his perceptions of reality and the perceptions of reality that most of those around him had.

For example, he was a physically healthy male who was attracted to females; yet, for obvious reasons, he was never able to enter into either a loving long-term partnership or even into a casual, physical expression of sexuality. His obvious insanity creeped the ladies right out, lemme tell ya. His interpretation of this undeniable, consistent, frustrating fact?

God (or Yahweh) and Jesus, working together, had given him a disease which made it impossible for him to have sex with a female. How can you argue with an interpretation like that? He was clearly correct.

At any rate, recognizing the Time Traveler’s spam as the output of a similarly distressed mind, I had filed it away and more or less forgotten it, when Mr. Dee reminded me of it. I googled a bit to see what I could see.

The always-alert N!kke has a roundup of posts on the topic, including a long correspondence with the apparently-Massachusetts-based temponaut.

Here’s Sean’s creepy account of actually waiting at a Time Traveler specified teleportation coordinate and time. Hard looks from a man in a minivan! Cell-phone toting, laptop-using men in a car that leaves when observed! A man in the woods! Pretty good for a ten-minute lunch break.

One futher point I found intriguing. Several of the websites that post experiences or research about the poor Time Traveler identify him by name. At Sean’s post, someone signing “todios” claims that the Time Traveler has been sent home. “Todios” bears a high degree of phonemic similarity to the last name of the person identified as the Time Traveler here. Of course, it also can be understod to mean “to God”. Multiply-layered meanings and coinages such as this are extremely characteristic of the writings of schizophrenics that I have read.

In the same comments section, “Octavian” posts:

Please do not assist this person. I am from about 200 years further into the future than he is (That’s about how long his DWG has been obsolete)and have been hunting him acoss most of human history. Now that he’s trapped in your era, he must be subdued by whatever means necessary. He knows I am after him, so it’s very important that he be stopped before he can kill my great-great-great-great-great Grandf

Ha ha ha, right?

Check this out. The post is dated July, 2002. Scroll through the comments (including a Chat log with TT). Look! There’s the same comment, also from “Octavian,” dated August, 2003. And look, todios is back too.

It seems odd, also, that the Time Traveler has not set up a website, as he seems conversant with domain acquisition and management.

In fact, googling for “time travel spam” yeilds quite a few results. One wonders – could the Time Traveler and the Time Cube Guy be brought together?