Viv’s in Kullyfornya until Tuesday and so I intend to uphold the ancient directives of bachelorhood and pursue the disciplines of shirking household chores, eating cold pizza in the morning, and beginning at least one absurd home-improvement (or computing) project that will eat up forty-eight hours with no discernible issue. Said project, of course, must take place while steadily, but not hastily, consuming massive quantities of beer.

You can play along at home, by helping determine part of my diet. What’s your fave delivery pizza in Seattle?

RecipeSource: Preserved Duck Eggs (thousand Year Old Eggs)

PRESERVED DUCK EGGS (THOUSAND YEAR OLD EGGS)
Yield: 12 servings

• 2 c Tea, very strong black
• 1/3 c Salt
• 2 c Ashes of pine wood
• 2 c Ashes of charcoal
• 2 c Fireplace ashes
• 1 c Lime*
• 12 Duck egg, fresh

*Available in garden stores and nurseries.

Combine tea, salt, ashes and lime. Using about 1/2 cupper egg, thickly coat each egg completely with thisclay-like mixture. Line a large crock with garden soiland carefully lay coated eggs on top. Cover with moresoil and place crock in a cool dark place. Allow tocure for 100 days. To remove coating, scrape eggs andrinse under running water to clean thoroughly. Cracklightly and remove shells. The white of the egg willappear a grayish, translucent color and have agelatinous texture. The yolk, when sliced, will be agrayish-green color.

To serve, cut into wedges and serve with:

Sweet pickled scallions or any sweet pickled vegetable

Sauce of 2 tablespoons each vinegar, soy sauce andrice wine and 1 tablespoon minced ginger root.

Preserved Ancient Eggs

These are often called thousand-year eggs, eventhough the preserving process lasts only 100 days.They may be purchased individually in Oriental markets.

The description of the whites turning grayishisn’t quite accurate from the ones I’ve seen. They’remore a dark blackish amber color– quite attractiveactually.

From “The Regional Cooking of China” by MargretGin and Alfred E. Castle, 101 Productions, SanFrancisco, 1975.

For Paul in Hong Kong. I am beginning a Seattle quest for these delicacies of my youth. Note to Culver descendants: DUCK eggs.

Mrs. C.’s Fact Sheets failed to answer my nearly-posted AskMe query. She does answer a host of other food-safety queries besides.

I was wondering, “How long can hard-bioled eggs be left at room temperature and remain edible?”

The Safer Easter Egg, however, tells me that the FDA says:

When eggs are cooled in water after being cooked, the eggs pull cool water through the pores of the shell. If the water contains bacteria, the bacteria are pulled into the shell, and grow quickly on this nutritious food source. The cooling water can be contaminated by bacteria on peoples hands, particularly staph bacteria. Suggestions to eliminate this problem are:

Add eight ounces of vinegar to every two quarts of boiling water in which the eggs are cooked.

• The acid in the vinegar makes it more difficult for the bacteria to survive.
• DO NOT cool the eggs in water. Remove the eggs immediately after cooking and cool on racks in the refrigerator.

The hard cooked eggs should not be at room temperature for more than two hour if they are to be eaten.

Verdict: Toss ’em. Shucks.

Buena Vista Restaurant is a Cuban place that just opened at the the north foot of Lake Union, right next to the former moorages of the Skansonia and the Kalakala (Kalakala link likely to rot in short order).

The restaurant is housed in a former rental hall known previously as CaterArts; the facility was built to highlight the spectacular views of the city skyline and lake. It’s just off the Burke Gilman between the I-5 bridge and Gas Works – from the trail, it’s the mango-hued building by the lakeshore.

Behind the building, literally at the water’s edge, are about 10 or 12 patio tables and umbrellas; it’s by far the best outdoor lakeside seating available in a public establishment on Lake Union. From 4 to 6, it’s happy hour, which knocks a couple bucks off the drink and appetizer prices. Despite this, it’s still pricey – $8.00 mojitos become $6.00 mojitos.

Yesterday, Viv and I took advantage of the sun to investigate. We are always interested in a new Cuban place here in town. Seattle’s track record has been spotty, with places opening and closing at rapid rates, and even establishments that taste great the first time later exhibiting exorbitant pricing revisions or annoying, self-absorbed declines in the quality of service. Knowing nothing about the place except that we felt sure we could subject ourselves to a few hours on that sunny deck, drinks in hand, we sallied forth.

The food came as a surprise. It’s fantastic, by far the most subtle and sophisticated Cuban I’ve sampled in a restaurant. We ate our way through the appetizers (“Bocaditos,” natch) and by six-thirty were deeply stuffed. Sadly, that meant we did not have an opportunity to sample the lunch or dinner menus, both of which featured popular favorites (such as Cuban pulled pork sandwiches or Moros y Cristianos for lunch or ropa vieja for dinner) and interesting experiments on the theme of Cuban cuisine.

Service was attentive and charming, although it was also clear that the place had just opened. The deck never filled up while we were there. Viv and I will be hurrying back to get more of that sun and try the rest of the food before the word gets out, as I’m sure the initial local media reviews will fill the back deck right up for the rest of the summer.

Foolishly, I did not bring a camera, and I must confess, I contemplated not blogging this because I am so certain the crowds will come. But on that same principle, I’d rather share it with you folks now. Next time it’s sunny, hang up that keyboard at four and meet your sweetie at Buena Vista. Your wallet will be lighter, and so will your heart.

Don’t forget – it’s National Corndog Day!

…and I must note that the crab thread cited first thing this morning drove me to the store to obtain some tasty Dungeness crab which I shall prepare as a love offering for the female of my species.

No word on my inclination toward performing a mating dance, however. (Warning: link may offer TMI to those about to eat crab.)

Maybe I should just embargo posting around dinnertime?

NOTE: linked recipe in no way constitutes a promise implied or otherwise to employ linked recipe.

This recipe is called ‘humpback’ because I didn’t know it would be especially memorable before I started cooking it. We watched the quite irresistible fillum Whale Rider on pay-per-view as we ate it, and I’ll always associate the two. Also, the stew is so good you’ll eat enough that you’ll feel an affinity with our cetacean neighbors.

Hungry and/or bibulous readers may be interested in my vernacular Guinness Beef Stew, also. Personally, I’d never prepare both at once, though. You gotta pick your fights.

Equipment

2 highball glasses
Cocktail shaker
Sharp kitchen knife
Measuring spoons
Measuring cup
Heavy-duty, deep lidded pot (8-12 cup capacity)
Soup bowls
Ladle
Wooden spoon
Soup spoons

Optional
Microwave
Grooved microwave platter
Paper towels

Second medium pot

Ingredients

4 Gin Rickeys

5 oz Bombay Gin
7 oz Rose’s lime juice
1 fresh lime, sectioned
Ice

Humpback Chicken Stew

8 cloves garlic, peeled, and sliced or diced
1 medium onion, chopped
3 tbsp (or more) Italian herb mix (thyme, parsley, oregano, etc. Ascertain it’s herbs only, no added salt!)
1/2 – 3/4 cup small carrots, cut up into rounds
olive oil
salt
pepper
bay leaf

4 medium potatoes

1 cube boullion (veggie, chicken, or beef)
3 – 4 cups water

6 strips bacon
1 – 1 1/2 lbs boneless chicken, cubed

1 can S & W ‘San Antonio’ beans (pinto beans, small red beans, Jalapeno peppers)
1 can S & W ‘Santa Fe’ beans (pinto beans, small red beans, yellow kernel corn, diced onion)
1 cup grape tomatoes

Optional ingredients

6 to 8 oz (half a bag) stew vegetables (frozen pearl onions, celery, carrots, etc.)
1 bag frozen kernel corn
1 bag frozen peas
Other fresh or frozen veggies as appropriate and to taste

Preparation

Slice and chop vegetables and chicken as stated in ingredients. Set aside. This is to minimize knife handling while drinking.

Pour gin and Rose’s lime juice together into shaker full of ice. Shake vigorously. Set aside.

Prepare 2 highball glasses with ice and lime wedge. Set aside.

I chose to cut the bacon strips in half and microwave them on high for five minutes to begin the cooking process while allowing some of the bacon fat to be picked up by the paper towels I nuked them on. Non-nukers may proceed to the next step.

Heat heavy duty pot over medium high. As pot heats, cut half-cooked bacon into inch-square pieces and add to pot, watching carefully to keep from overheating (if the grease smokes, it’s too hot).

Serve Gin Rickeys. It’s assumed you’ll consume two as you cook and so will your partner, busy at the X-Box or web browser as the case may be.

When the bacon has crisped up and shed most of the grease, remove to layered paper towels. Dump most of the bacon grease, but coat the interior of the pot with it before discarding. Do not dump directly into drain unless you are a plumber, in which case you know better already. A can or old milk carton will do. Bachelors are encouraged to use empty beer cans scavenged from living room area.

Replace pot on medium heat burner. Add chopped garlic, and stir with wooden spoon. Observe cooking process and add olive oil as needed. When enough oil is engaged, add chopped onions as well. Salt and pepper generously. Drink from gin rickey.

When oil has coated garlic and onion and you can smell the pepper from the sauté, add Italian seasoning mix and stir. There should be enough that it looks like too much. The oil will cause it to cling to the garlic and onions, more or less coating them, but not clumping in the oil.

Add chopped carrots, stirring. Allow to sauté for five minutes.

Fend hungry partner off with second Gin Rickey or, if necessary, saltines. Water down the drink if they show obvious signs of drunkenness or hunger-induced irritability. Once they leave kitchen, rummage in fridge for a pickle or some olives.

Optionally, boil the cubed potatoes separately for about ten minutes before draining and adding to main pot.

Add three cups water and boullion cube. Turn heat to high. If chicken is not cubed yet, do so now. Add cubes to liquid. As liquid approaches boiling, add the beans and the other vegetables; if you’re adding frozen vegetables it will slow the time to boil.

Bring to rolling boil and add bay leaf. If you do not boil the potatoes separately, keep on low rolling boil for about ten minutes; otherwise, add potatoes, but not liquid, from other pot.

After boiling, turn heat down to simmer. If there’s not enough stock to your taste add water to suit. Cover, but leave lid ajar to prevent boil-over.

Adjourn to common room and consume the rest of the Rickeys. Allow the simmer to continue for at least half-an-hour, checking on pot continuously to prevent boill-off or boil-over. At a half-hour or more of simmer time, turn burner off and remove pot from heat. Cover tightly, and wait another half-hour to allow soup to cool.

Serve. I recommend beer as a beverage accompaniment.

The Illuminated Donkey takes a fare-thee-well glance at every power-crazed political criminal’s favorite bevvy, Johnny Walker!

I’ll drink to that!

(Full disclosure: as part of an endorsement deal with The Illuminated Donkey, the author of this website once received a half-empty bottle of Johnny Walker Red, or some substantial drinks, or something, from noted wanna-be Broadway impresario Ken Goldstein. I can’t remember. There was a lot of alcohol involved. There may have been women.)

(confidential to Yassir Shizmebehbe: It’s been a busy damn week over here, and I am NOT sending you the goddamn scotch. If I did, Goldie would see it in your bar, and then he’d get wise, see? That’s the last thing we want at this stage.

But we will reimburse for up to 50 percent of business related bartabs for Mr. Goldstein on your card on receipt of the initial score and lyrics for legal review. There’s some nibbles from Taymor regarding a sort of revisionist thing, especially if we can work the whole alcoholic seeks redemption angle into the plot – separate, of course, from the score and the tunes. It’s ironic, see?

Looking forward to meeting your new PA and ‘secretary’ on the links Friday. Best to the little lady.)

Google Search: what is salt pork reveals that fatback becomes salt pork when salt-cured and that salt pork is similar to American-style bacon, but unsmoked. Imputed is that American-style bacon is a bit more to the meat side than the straight-up salt pork.

Why, in the name of God, do I look this up?

My parents always make Hoppin’ John for New Years; I have adapted the tradition to make Cuban-style black beans para mi espoza every year.

As I was gettin’ the fixins (beans, rice, green pepper, bacon, salt, black pepper, garlic, onions if you’re in the mood) I wondered how close the substituted bacon is to the usually-called for salt pork; now I know. Pretty close.

Mmmm. I smells the garlic and sich. Gettin’ hungry.

At midnight we’ll eat the twelve grapes before trying to find a shot of downtown Vegas. Then we’ll stand on the steps of our apartment building with our neighbor Peter to watch the Needle explode.

And finally regarding our DC trip, here are the places we ate worthy of note.

Gadsby’s Tavern – next door to the Gadsby’s Tavern Museum in Old Town Alexandria. We ate right where the cheesy picture was taken on the restaurant page, in front of the fireplace. No strolling lutists, though. The entertainment was provided by the maitre d’, who regaled us with tales of buying his tie from a haberdasher in New Yawk, clearly his hometown.

Phillips – this chain has a DC store; my dad told me it was a Baltimore-based biz. I dunno. The draw here is all-you-can-eat seafood, including both small whole crabs and large sea-crab legs, and even, I was delighted to see, crayfish. The food was passable, nothing amazing except in quantity; the most striking aspect of the restaurant scene was that is was clearly the only place that ‘real people’ ate at regularly that we ate while we were in DC. The crowd was large, boisterous, and diverse, contrasted to the nearly pure white crowds we’d been seeing at the museums all week. I noted African-Americans, Asian Muslims, Filipinos, Middle-Easterners, Hispanics, and a man who looked just like Wayne Newton. Interestingly, the employees all appeared to be having a great time and were warm and attentive. The decor was mid-seventies theme restaurant. I loved this place but not because of the food.

Le Gaulois – In many ways this was the most memorable of the meals we ate. The restaurant serves country-style French food, and does a beautiful job. I had the cassoulet mentioned in the review I link to and I guess they must have worked things out, because I ate the whole thing. It was delicious. Viv had pike quenelles, fish dumplings of a sort, and I think her dish was better than mine. My family entertained ourselves by swapping huge samples of the various dishes onto each others’ plates and finished, a bottle of wine and an apertif to the good. Dinner for four was less than $150, including the wine, and man, for French food in DC, that is astounding. Oddly, they stop seating at 8:30 pm, of a piece with DC’s early-to-bed-in-defense-of-power ways.

Casting about for a final meal, I had a hankering for German food, which is the hardest cuisine to find diversity in around the Puget Sound region. We discussed options at length as my family is wont to do. We found an option which none other than Donald Rumsfeld had pre-selected for us, back in the heady days of the early war by indicating his disdain and hatred for it.

Old Europe is a relic, a survivor of the postwar wave of restaurants that opened in cities all over the United States, reflecting the reality of the experiences of American soldiers in occupied Europe. These restaurants created an Americanized fantasy of the European experience with the vim and vigor that would later lead to Las Vegas and Disneyland; being individually-run enterprises, however, the florid imagination of the proprietor is played out on on a smaller scale.

The walls of the restaurant are placarded with genuine oil paintings depicting idealized European scenes of castles, villages, landscapes, and people. Deeply yellowed with decades of cigarette smoke, the paintings are quite kitschy but to me appear to have taken on an artifactual status. Atop the scenic works is a row of heraldic paintings by many different hands, all dated and signed in the mid fifties; the heraldry is captioned with the names of countries, cantons or old European nobility and is not in any apparent order. Approximately ten wooden models of sailing ships hang from the ceiling, smoke-gilded and furred with dust and restaurant fuzz.

The place was about half-full when we arrived and remained that way. The people who worked there obviously knew many of the people eating. the restaurant clearly sustains a loyal and consistent base of regulars. I was charmed. Then, a short woman made her way, cane tapping, to a stand-up piano in the corner and began to sing a mix of German and American holiday songs in a clear soprano. Quite blind, she was also eager to converse with any nearby table. Doubtful at first, I quickly realized that she completed the ambience. With all this atmosphere I began to wonder if the food would be any good.

I had nothing to worry about. A decent selection of German beer and the food that I had, a trout filet, was quite delicious. As an extra added treat, the beer came in glass steins labeled ‘Old Europe’, conveniently available for order on the website.

This concludes my explanation of the additional four pounds I brought home with me from DC.