2003-10-26 11:20:58 (UPDT 10-28 15:40)
Weyland Yutani Inner System Dispatch Office
Congratulations! You have been assigned to a berth on the CTV USCSS NOSTROMO (registration number 180286), freighting a petrochemical ore refinery via waypoint Thedus, waypoint LV-426 in the Zeta 2 Reticuli system, and waypoint L-5 in Earth orbit, under command of Captain A. Dallas.
This voyage will require standard cyrogenic metabolic suspension, so please have your proof of a recent physical vetted and duly approved by your local Weyland Yutani (hereafter: The Company) medical affiliate office or at the transshipment point. As an employee of The Company, your heath is your responsibility and The Company can offer no guarantee that you will not suffer irreversible harm as a consequence of the slight risk associated with this voyage and standard cyrogenic metabolic suspension.
Enclosed please find a sample standard embroidered fabric uniform identifier emblem. You are responsible for preparing a set of not less than seven (7) duplicates which will be applied to your standard-issue onboard uniform wear. All personnel will be provided with onboard uniform wear from company stores and are allotted a personal freightage exemption from shipment fees for up to 7kg of non-organic material including personal computation and amusement devices and materials.
Nonauthorized organic matter introduced in the context of the personal freightage exemption will be charged to the crewperson at triple freightage rates and summarily removed from the vessel.
Sample definitions of nonauthorized organic matter that may incur these charges:
(ship’s synthetic stores are vetted to provide optimal nutrition while en route)
- Plant matter
(An oversupply of organically produced oxygen may create an imbalance in the onboard CO2 scrubbers)
- Recreational narcotics
- Fermentable substances
- Cotton-based garments
(the increasing incidence of floral print shirts is the subject of increased vigilance reflecting The Company campaign to reassert uniform dress codes for all merchant spacefaring personell)
- Domestic animals, whether intended as pets or as food sources
- Any alcoholic beverage
- Materials deemed pornographic by the mission commander
Crewpersons with additional questions on these matters may consult the FAQ. However, final discretion rests in the hands of on-board representatives of The Company and a variety of penalties in addition to the freightage charges specified above may be forthcoming, up to and including capital punishment .
This voyage may be among those selected by The Company for unannounced monitoring, surveillance, and inspection to ensure the highest degree of compliance and quality of service. Thank you for your attention to these matters, and again, congratulations on your new berth!
You may board the USCSS NOSTROMO at any date following October 31, 2003 in most locations by traveling to a local Weyland Yutani kino facility and purchasing the appropriate transshipment pass. Personnel stationed in the greater Puget Sound vicinity may obtain transshipment passes as early as October 29. Please be advised that it is doubtful that this specific early boarding opportunity will remain available beyond November 5.
We thank you for your service to Weyland Yutani. Together, we’re building structural perfection matched only by our commitment to service: We Build Better Worlds.
rev.2b interoff corr. auth: D. Lope. typos, slogan, logo corrected. IF-12/bn. 3.
2 thoughts on “ATTN: Weyland Yutani Crewperson:”
Have you ever explored the Anchorpoint Essays? I find them fascinating, but they haven’t been touched in a couple years. I e-mailed the listed site admin to see if I could find out if they’d been abandoned, but haven’t heard anything back yet.
Sorry about the triplicate post — mt-comments.cgi kept timing out on me earlier today.
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