The Roman emperor Valerian was apparently kept in chains and, according to scuttlebutt, used as a stepping stool by is Sassanid captor. After dying (“from shame,” later sources say) his skin was apparently taxidermied for continued celebratory display. Scholars dispute much of the narrative.

Still, who wouldn’t want to trot out your local emperor or oligarch for abuse?

The junkyard home theater is complete.

The last two pieces were a different USB DAC (which supports optical out on the Mac) and a hail-mary shot at resurrecting (see what I did there? This entry was nearly titled “It is Finished”) an old DVD player I had on the shelf, retired after it stopped working a few years ago.

The G4 Mini simply cannot support hi-def audio and HD video from disc, but does ok with XMBC taking streams and tossing them out. Sadly, XMBC, although the root from which Boxee sprang, is straight-up terrible in terms of UI, and the version I am using is prone to crashes.

Still, the objective here was to set up a surround-sound, Internet-connected and streaming-capable big-screen home theater for as little as possible.

It has been difficult to figure out the costs, but over the past month I have spent about 200 dollars, possibly 250. I had significant items in hand, however, specifically:

The projector (dumpstered in 1999 or so)
The amp (an entry-level Sony, made around 2002: no hdmi)
The computer (a first generation G4 Mac Mini, no optical out, underpowered in every way)
Cables
Experience (see below)

Setting up a home theater requires knowledge of multiple, and multiplying, connection protocols. I find it murderously enraging to keep on top of it, so mostly I don’t. Having experience with this particular area of greedy nonsense helped. I’m certain acquiring the knowledge abraded away an appreciable portion of my “don’t be an impatient and abusive asshole” coating.