College porn stars film their own punishment is the headline to Richard Roeper’s hard-hitting big thumbs down on Shane’s World, Vol. 32, Campus Invasion, the pro-am porn film shot in Bloomington last year to the delight of media professionals everywhere.

Not to worry – it’s not a serious review of a porn film. Heaven forfend that the Sun-Times, or most papers and large circulation printed news sources, would ever run something thoughful about porn. After all, they tried back in the mid-seventies, and look where that got everybody.

But, as far as fish in a barrel goes, it’s pretty funny.

The film runs 2-1/2 hours, and for the most part it’s about as sexy as a military educational film about transmittable diseases. Basically you get porn stars with ugly tattoos, bad teeth and been-around-the-block-a-million-times faces mingling with drunken-fool college students in pig sty apartments. It’s mostly pathetic and depressing.

One mope who meets the porn stars outside his dorm invites them back to his room. Another guy, toting a backpack, allows the women to fondle him in public and then says, “Awesome! OK, I gotta go to class.” There are several party sequences, with the porn stars putting on shows for the crowd and occasionally hooking up with young men.

Go I.U.! We’re number one! We’re number one!

(Really, this is about as far as I go with the whole team spirit thing.)