New York Times political reporter A. O. Scott calls in from the polling station:

“Like weary Brezhnev-era Muscovites, the American moviegoing public will line up out of habit and compulsion, ruefully hoping that this episode will at least be a little better than the last one, and perhaps inwardly suspecting that the whole elephantine system is rotten.”

Don’t hold back, A. O.! Come ON, already, tell us the TRUTH! Or do you have something to hide?

It’s pretty much a curb-stompin. Blood, teeth, horrified onlookers. I laughed out loud:

‘Star Wars: Episode II’: Kicking Up Cosmic Dust (Yeah, yeah, it’s at the Times. Oh shuddup. You’re already registered or else you don’t have a computer in which case go buy the damn rag already and SAY how are you reading this then huh smart guy)

Ask me what a curb-stomping is. Go on. I dare ya. No, I take it back. Go ask ya muddah.

Ouch! He uses the line, oh my god, he USES THE LINE:

“But where are the clones? Send in the clones!”

I’m sorry, you’re not old enough to read this review. Your mother and I have decided it’s for the best. You can look it up on half-legible microfilm in a couple decades, about the time the last three Star Wars movies come out.

One thought on “Episode II Early Returns: Lucas Trails Binks at Polls

  1. If you have to ask what a curb-stomping is, you probably can’t afford one. No, really, you probably don’t want to know. Highly cringe-inducing.

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