My headache, into day three now, is so immense and pervasive that the pain it gives approaches beauty. I believe it may be my first real-life migraine. The tip of my nose hurts in ways that are like yet distinct from the pain of cold, of burning, and of bruising.
With any luck, i should begin to experience hallucinations sometime tomorrow, I think. Sadly, it does not appear to be triggering an endorphin response that I can parse out.
I had always thought the hallucinations must have been an endorphin side effect.
However, I am beginning to perceive symmetry in the pain as it overlays the more floriated elements of my skull. This leads me to suspect that migraine hallucinations must actually be pattern-seeking overlaid on random, persistent stimuli. The symmetries of pain I am experiencing, like leaves or wings insinuated under my facial muscles, echo the bursts of light we see with eyes closed, hands gently pressed against eyelids.
Once, subject to incredibly frequent and capricious hangovers of debilitating intensity – I recall spending an entire day wracked with dry heaves and nausea apparently brought on by two beers (admittedly, they were VERY BAD beers) – I had the ability to focus and call forth a wee dab of endorphins, enough to complete a given task, such as the dishes or a shower. Today, the juice seems utterly lacking. Yet I find myself able to complete normal tasks, such as cooking dinner, without falling down or vomiting. This headache seems a different sort of plague all together.