On October 27, Qwest disconnected our phone and connected the new line, with a new number, at the new house. I moved the Qwest-provided router to the house and plugged it in, and the router illuminates to a state indicating connectivity.

On November 1, I called Qwest to get our old number restored in the new location. We had to wait until the new POTS number rang through in order to allow them to merely transfer the extant services rather than end and start anew, or so I was told. On November 2, I was told when I placed this second call, the old number would be effective in the new locale. Instead, the new line yields a “this number has been changed” message whilst the old number remains disconnected.

Today I was told that the old number will actually be restored on November 7.

Meanwhile, I placed a call to my ISP, which is not Qwest, and requested that they assign the IPs so that I can get my server online at the new house. I have now called them every morning for three days, and each time I get a different story about the expected delivery date and required actions from them to deliver the service. All I need from them is six IP addresses. They refuse to release these to me until a technician has made a site visit and configured a brand new, quite unnecessary, router.

This morning I was assured that the technician would be on site this afternoon, and that I would get a call from the technician when they were on site. I was hoping to intercept them and get the IPs directly in order to get the whole ridiculous mummery show over with on the sly. I don’t need or want a new router. I didn’t want or need the last new router. I believe that there must be some way to force the ISP to buy the Qwest-provided router from me. However, my intention is just to reconfigure the Qwest router to match their setup and swap it back so I can stick their junk on the shelf with ALL MY OTHER DAMN ROUTERS.

I have argued.

I have pleaded.

I have been reasonable.

I will call them once more in the morning. After that, I will no longer be reasonable or patient.