Apparently, the World Cup engaged in some accounting chicanery. I don’t get it. First, how can soccer generate the kind of dough that is being described as missing? Second, I thought that the tournament was over. Boy, was I wrong!

So, does the winning team have to make up that $3.8 billion?

Also, why is the stock market acting like this is the end of the world? It’s not like the World Cup provides long-distance, cellular, and internet service to hundreds of thousands of people, or as if there was actually stock for the tournament available online to any direct investor that happened to read George Gilder’s soccer newsletter back in the day.

I mean, what’s next? Will news of a fixed world series plunge the globe into hyperinflation?

And, man, you gotta hand it to the accountants: they some gangsta! The ladies luuv the bad boyz! Woo hoo! Everybody fightin’ to get the accountant at the party! Yeah!

And let me state for the record: The Economist can blow me.

Wait, am I drunk?