‘Walking zombies’ threaten subways – New York Newsday. It’s a deal of trouble keeping them off the tracks.

Walking dead have a lot to tell the living – Cleveland Plain Dealer. Gems of wisdom such as ‘ooouargh’ come to mind.

Recording industry web site downed, possibly by zombies – USA TODAY [via BoingBoing]. If the RIAA is downed by the walking dead, is it self-inflicted?

Zombies push Jesus from top of North American box office – The New Zealand Herald (See also Zombies drive Jesus from Box Office at MTV). No word on how badly the fall may have hurt Our Lord.

Plight of the living dead – The Scotsman. Won’t someone think of the zombies?

Zombie debt collectors dig up your old mistakes – MSN Money. Glad to see we’re finding a way to put the poor buggers to good use.

Zombie behaviors integral to human consciousness – ScienceBlog.com. Yes, dear. Of course, dear. Mmm-hmm.

UPDATE: Now that’s fresh: Company says some frozen lobsters live again – Maine Today [AP]. Missed this the first time through. I did see it on Monday, but forgot when assembling the headlines. [PF via Off the Kuff]

And finally, the always forward thinking LA Times proffers Lifestyles of the Undead at the subscription-only Calendar Live.

There are more headlines like this showing up every minute. I believe a mutant brain-eating virus may be spreading among the nation’s headline writers.

I don’t know about you, but I’m boarding up the house.

TRAPPED BY UNDEAD, NEED HELP – “This is not a joke. We are alone and constantly battling for our lives.” At blogspot. A few days ago, they were wondering why there is an apparent news blackout. I’d say the blackout must be over. [seen on MeFi a few days ago]

“It’s obvious that there was some kind of chemical explosion that might have led to the catastrophe that Roy and I are now a part of. Mr. Quincy tells me that these documents were drafted in response to the reports of, what at the time, seemed like mass canabilistic attacks in these areas.”

I wonder, are these zombies somehow adipocerean?

Luckily, here’s a helpful documentary from the sixties both on how to respond, and how not to. Practice gun safety, kids! [via BoingBoing again]