– begin messtrans –

1:48PM

NASA: come in Spirit
NASA: Spirit come in
Interplanetary Cellular has joined this chat.
NASA: Spirit come in
Interplanetary Cellular: Sorry, Spirit is away from its planet right now. Would you like to speak to somebody else?
NASA: is, um, is Pathfinder there?
NASA: hello?
Interplanetary Cellular: beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep
beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep
beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep
beepbeep
NASA: I’m sorry the reception on this phone is fucking terrible
Interplanetary Cellular: Please try your call again later.

1:50PM

NASA: oh christ
NASA: (redials)
NASA: (rings for a long time)
NASA: pick up!
Interplanetary Cellular Customer: Hello!
Interplanetary Cellular Customer: Sorry, I was in the shower!
NASA: Yes, hi! I’m trying to reach Spirit, you know, on Mars?
Interplanetary Cellular Customer: Oh…one second…
NASA: Thanks!
NASA: (twiddles thumbs)
Interplanetary Cellular Customer: [muffled] Some guy named NASA is asking for you..
NASA: (doodles, hears quiet voices on phone)
Interplanetary Cellular Customer: I don’t know, something about pretty pictures of rocks…
okay.
Interplanetary Cellular Customer: [clear] Spirit stepped out for a minute; can I take a message?
NASA: (sighs)
NASA: Uh, yeah, can you tell her that everybody back on Earth is, like, really worried about her?
NASA: We have been trying to get through to her for several days now, and when someone does talk to her, all we get is static!
Interplanetary Cellular Customer: I can put you through to her voicemail, or I can take a message?
NASA: If by some chance you see her, or her friends Beagle or Pathfinder or that nice older probe Viking, will you pass a message?
NASA: Please?
Interplanetary Cellular Customer: Sure thing!
Interplanetary Cellular Customer: Lemme get my pen…
Interplanetary Cellular Customer: Go ahead!
NASA: Her Uncle Hubble just got some very bad news. Spirit’s sister will be there in a few days, and she can fill Spirit in on the details.
NASA: After that, we’re sending someone to get you, Spirit. It may take a while but someone will be there. Hang on – please just hang on!
NASA: (deep breath, pauses)
NASA: That’s it.
Interplanetary Cellular Customer: Whew. Perhaps you’d prefer voicemail?
NASA: no, no, this is fine.
NASA: Now, I think her sister should be the one to tell her, but I can let you know –
NASA: Uncle Hubble’s not long for the soloar system.
Interplanetary Cellular Customer: Um…okay then.
NASA: Brush the dust and mud off her sundial for me – for all of us.
NASA: Okay?
NASA: By the way, you’ve been very helpful and kind.
Interplanetary Cellular Customer: That’s my job, sir.
NASA: Who is this again?
Interplanetary Cellular Customer: Scott Carpenter.

– end messtrans –

Credits:

The part of NASA was written and played by Mike Whybark.

The parts of Interplanetary Cellular and Scott Carpenter were written and played by Ken Goldstein.