Ken Goldstein of the Week
Thud
(37 Words. September 06, 2005, 09:15 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
It has come to my attention that I have a blinding headache. It has also come to my attention that KG, friend of my yoot, is now a Manhattanite, abiding deep in darkest Bleecker Street. Lucky bastidge….
What is it that makes a house a home?
(636 Words. July 05, 2005, 10:56 PM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
Viv and I have been consumed, eaten alive, devoured by househunting. On Saturday, before enjoying some sprawling dinner and drinks with Greg and Stacey, we saw no less than fifteen houses in an all-day marathon. Some were good, some were bad, none were it. I particularly liked a 1947 house in near-ish southwest Seattle near a golf course, to…
Deep Throat, Episode III
(199 Words. May 31, 2005, 06:06 PM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
NYT: F.B.I. Official Revealed He Was Watergate Source in Interview WASHINGTON, May 31 — W. Mark Felt, a senior F.B.I. official during the Nixon administration, was the “Deep Throat” of Watergate lore, the secret source who provided information that helped Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein of The Washington Post unravel the scandals of Richard Nixon’s White House, the newspaper…
Murph!
(46 Words. January 05, 2005, 04:46 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
On my way home from work today, I ran into fellow KG-appreciator Murph, who was hurrying home to tend to his ailing spouse. We discussed Ken’s recently-revealed secret career. It was great to see him, and hopefully I’ll run into him again at the bus stop….
The Seated Battle
(546 Words. October 05, 2004, 08:24 PM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
Personae dramatis BOB, a meathead sports announcer out of central casting GOLDIE, a person of ethnicity with a background in sports bookmaking Setting: The television coverage of a second-rank mid-size purse wrestling match, with a title at stake, sometime in the nineteen-seventies. — BOB: Goldie, who’s your pick here tonite at the big Veep Smackdown? We’ve seen that “Big…
What's with the muttonchops?
(97 Words. June 25, 2004, 05:41 PM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
danelope strikes back, taking vengeance for both Danelope Week and Ken Goldstein of the Week Week. Dan also notes that he hopes to instantiate a weekly beering of the pale and nerdly, a goal I can heartily get behind. I especially endorse the goal as a means to develop further diabolical plots and nefarious schemes devoted to the appreciation and…
Where's Ken?
(2 Words. May 05, 2004, 09:01 AM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Where’s Ken?…
Meet "Ben"
(135 Words. March 18, 2004, 10:06 PM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
Online Poker: Hold ‘Em and Hide ‘Em [NYT] Excerpts from the opening (Quoted bold italics mine): “Ben” sleeps five hours a night; the rest of the time he sits at his desk in his “Brooklyn” apartment playing online poker. He won $5… “Ben” quit his “teaching” job five months ago and now makes around $100 an hour. Five days a…
More promo items
(75 Words. March 12, 2004, 02:24 PM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
In a former life, I designed promotional items that were quite similiar to the promo materials a political campaign might employ. Therefore, please take and reproduce these KG ‘04 items. Site badge: (You should link to Ken’s website when you run this, I think.) Site Banner (I may revise this): (links to a 468 x 60 banner.) Bumper strip (this…
If elected, ...
(0 Words. March 11, 2004, 04:46 PM, Comments: 6) MORE >>>
Proof of something or other
(61 Words. February 18, 2004, 05:08 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
The Illuminated Donkey has been laid off. When a hard-working man the likes of Ken Goldstein gets the axe it’s a powerful argument for a universe free of oversight. Maybe he’ll blow his unemployment on a visit. Time for a drink. Actually, come to think of it, he’s like the third person I heard of getting the axe this month….
Donk-Cision '04: Vermin Supreme!
(56 Words. January 28, 2004, 04:34 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
The Illuminated Donkey contues continues the standard-setting coverage of the hot and heavy Democratic primary season with a hard-hitting memoir and backgrounder on Vermin Supreme, whose web server looks to be down, alas. I anxiously await the next bulletin from fellow correspondent B2. With news resources such as these, democracy sleeps safely tonight….
Suddenly it all makes sense
(149 Words. January 08, 2004, 02:13 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
In November, I recieved a peculiar postcard, which I noted and shared here, thinking it somehow foreshadowed an event involving Ken, an ex-coworker of both of ours, and a story involving fecal matter. At that time I did not share the message on the back of the card, as I found it obtuse, possibly a feeble ‘jest.’ Now it’s all…
Regarding that deal memo
(515 Words. January 07, 2004, 04:49 PM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
To: Britney Alexander, Acquisitions, BTVP From: Mike Whybark RE: Kensapoppin’ Dear Britney: Thank you for your recent missive concerning your forthcoming effort, “Kenny, Big & Tall.” While we understand your disappointment at the MOW status for the project (quite a step down from the two-part, twelve-hour HBO MS we were discussing in Vegas), the projected demography for the piece makes…
The Century
(114 Words. December 17, 2003, 05:32 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Late-breaking news: This rarely-reproduced shot of the now-forgotten and unrecorded first flight - one hundred years ago today - was deliberately excluded from early aviation histories because of the thoughtless presence of Ken Wright in the frame. Wright had just arrived on the scene, having lost hundreds of dollars at an all-night poker game on the Coast Guard base just…
The third Wright
(70 Words. December 17, 2003, 12:10 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
As I was investigating various Wright-related imagebanks, what should I uncover but this amazing find, which appears to reveal the existence of a previously unknown Wright Brother. It’s thought, I think, that the third Wright, seen here for the first time, mostly stayed at home in Ohio, feeling vaguely dissatisfied and making occasional forays into humor writing. Later, he…
More on Ken's dilemma
(80 Words. December 13, 2003, 03:58 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
Ken sent me this card recently. Shortly thereafter, a humorous aside he’d written more than a year ago generated an angry letter from an ex-coworker whom we’re both fond of and hold in high esteem. He’s a laugh-riot, ladies and gentlemen, a reg’lar Henny Newman! He’s taken the Mel Brooks exposition of Aristotle’s Treatise on Humor and turned himself…
I win! I win! It's meeeee
(92 Words. August 31, 2003, 12:31 AM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
The Illuminated Donkey announced that when the counter over there rolled over to 100,000, a prize involving obscure 80’s films on VHS might be in the offing. Well, I must be getting old, cuz I had nothing better to do between 11:50 and 12:15 tonight except to kick that puppy over! No cheating or chicanery was involved - just good…
KGOTW: Fireworks number
(45 Words. July 05, 2003, 01:06 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Paul celebrated a birthday in company with Ken, leading, inevitably, to the return of Ken Goldstein of the Week here at mike.whybark.com. We spent the fourth in company of tennis Friends of the Donk Matt and Bader, and Ken was fondly discussed more than once….
Ken should be thanking his lucky stars
(36 Words. May 15, 2003, 05:00 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
Larry’s Face: what could have been. Scroll down to see what Fark did with Larry Goldfarb. NOTE the dancing banana. Ah, alas, sweet glory of the KGP; for it could have been Ken. hmmm… hmm!…
PBJT
(38 Words. May 05, 2003, 05:06 PM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
The Illuminated Donkey gets an unexpected passenger, courtesy sneaky sneaky me. Click here, and hit “reload”; then enjoy the new improved look of the “Donk”. Shouldn’t we really be calling him “K-Donk,” and not the threadbare moniker, “K-Dog”?…
Ken: Seattle at last
(23 Words. April 28, 2003, 07:07 AM, Comments: 7) MORE >>>
Ken Goldstein, Seattle, Washington. Linda’s Tavern, Friday April 25, 2003 (No pixels were harmed in the making of this picture. Click to enzoomify.)…
Sigh. Not AGAIN!
(50 Words. April 23, 2003, 07:24 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
Deep Throat Identified … again. Didn’t we hear of this of this and then dispose of it last June? It IS verrrry interesting, though, that Ken “scheduled” his “trip” to “Vegas” to …coincide with this announcement. [raises eyebrow theatrically, puffs pipe, surreptitiously checks elbow patches on tweed jacket]…
KGP redux
(78 Words. March 17, 2003, 01:10 PM, Comments: 4) MORE >>>
The Ken Goldstein Project appears to be minimally functional again. Not to go into detail, but for the devheads out there, it appears that some file corruption was disallowing access to the tables - duping them at the system level, and renaming, solved the problem. Er, make that ‘solved,’ since I don’t have a genuine technical solution, just a functional…
I'm just sayin', is all
(114 Words. March 08, 2003, 12:20 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Broadway Goes Silent As Musicians Strike: NEW YORK (AP) — The sound of music has stopped on Broadway. Virtually every musical shut down Friday after their musicians went on strike, and actors and stagehands refused to cross picket lines. Eighteen shows, including such big hits as “Hairspray,” “The Lion King,” “Mamma Mia!” and “La Boheme,” went dark, and producers canceled…
KENSAPOPPIN': a fond look back (part 3)
(463 Words. March 07, 2003, 07:28 AM, Comments: 4) MORE >>>
A casting dispute Kensapoppin’!, as the world will recall, was the briefly-produced big budget “one-man” show featuring noted blogger and Skee-Ball historian Ken Goldstein. The show was never reviewed and first-hand accounts of the three full-scale performances that were mounted after weeks of full-cast practice and countless rewrites are rare. We are fortunate to be able to offer a reproduction…
KENSAPOPPIN': a fond look back (part 2)
(908 Words. March 06, 2003, 07:23 AM, Comments: 4) MORE >>>
Kensapoppin’: an excerpt Kensapoppin’ was a very short-lived musical which attempted to fuse Skee-ball, then thought be on the verge of a national vogue, with an examination of the burgeoning issues of privacy in the age of the internet and celebrity, using the metaphor of the everyman and the superhero. We at mike.whybark.com are devoting the final three instalments of…
KENSAPOPPIN': a fond look back (part 1)
(336 Words. March 05, 2003, 07:18 AM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Introduction Lost to the ages, the short-running show Kensapoppin’ examined issues of public and private identity and is hailed as a lost masterpiece of early-21st century musical theater. A high-profile spat doomed the show just before opening day. Join us at mike.whybark.com as we go backstage to unveil the mythos – and some of the surprising material – behind Broadway’s…
Mug Shot
(84 Words. March 04, 2003, 07:30 AM, Comments: 4) MORE >>>
In a welcome relief from our foray into the seamy underbelly of Kenny G’s secret life as wanna-be Vegas playa, our entry today will be familiar to assiduous readers of Ken’s comments section. The lovely Heather of Little Cabbage made it known that she’d recieved a certain sort of drinking vessel from the KGP Emporium. Man, what a relief! Those…
Ken the Croupier
(62 Words. March 03, 2003, 07:48 AM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
Aw, you didn’t think that Ken really dressed up in an Elvis fat suit, now didja? Nope, his REAL career in Vegas is as a croupier. Here’s a candid shot of Ken engaging in some harmeless horseplay with the tableboss’s ex-wife. Whoop it up you, you scamp! This has been your Ken Goldstein of the Week Week Entry NUMBER THREE!!!…
Big Kel: TCB, baby
(107 Words. March 02, 2003, 07:50 AM, Comments: 7) MORE >>>
The preceding entry, naturally, brought thoughts of Vegas to your suspicious minds. That would of course be both correct and appropriate. By incredible coincidence, later that same evening, the main attraction was introduced to a sell-out crowd, fans eagerly awaiting a chance to hear the famous and stirring main theme from Kensapoppin’. To the crowd’s stunned surprise, a legendary entertainer…
It's Ken Goldstein of the Week Week!
(75 Words. March 01, 2003, 07:18 AM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
Due to a surprising wave of third-party Ken Goldstein of the Week submissions, I have no choice but to declare this to be Ken Goldstein of the Week Week! Paul Frankenstein gets things rolling with a riff on a post of his own, bringing concrete photographic proof that our dear L’il Kay-Gee is - yowsa - kw-ITE the playa. THIS…
KG of the week!
(52 Words. February 09, 2003, 02:43 PM, Comments: 6) MORE >>>
The Ken Goldstein Project features two stunning views of Ken Goldstein from the winking shutter of one Paul Frankenstein. One in particular is simply a standout, a sheer marvel of the Goldstein watcher’s art. Monumental, one might say. Inspiring. Majestic. Planetary. Sadly, no photographic record of KG masquers was in evidence….
Courtesy Frankenstein
(64 Words. January 30, 2003, 07:32 AM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
Where did Ken get that cool shirt? The KGP shop. Need I say more? (All proceeds will go to renewing Ken’s lifetime subscription to the Atlantic Monthly.) I must note that the good Dr. Frankenstein set up the shop, soething I’ve meant to do, but been dissuaded from due to certain unknown parties stuffing the ballot box over at…
Happy New Year!
(34 Words. January 01, 2003, 12:01 PM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
Aw, he’s cute like that! …and in other news, I start at Danger Island on Monday. I interviewed on Tuesday and it was the most pleasant, interesting, and relaxed job interview I’ve ever had….
more on the lower case
(367 Words. December 31, 2002, 07:28 AM, Comments: 7) MORE >>>
Yowsa! I’m all tapped out for the day - you can find my blatherings here, in the comments on lower-case i, wherein all and sundry have offered opinion and diagnostic on the Great Internet Controversy of Ought-Two, (or is that the great internet controversy of ought to) including a spirited and technologically-informed defense of the capital-I Internet usage by the…
KG from AZ
(23 Words. December 23, 2002, 10:50 AM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
The Ken Goldstein Project has posted photographic evidence of further Chicagoan adventures on the part of one Ken Goldstein, courtesy Anne Zender!…
Donkey poser
(185 Words. December 10, 2002, 08:03 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Out-guilting my mother, noted holiday celebrations expert Ken Goldstein notes that he’s already bought my Christmas present, and handily provided a direct link to it so that I can precisely calibrate the appropriate item to reciprocate with. Some might say that the creation of one’s own personal fan club might be a fair exchange, but far be it from me…
Ken!
(26 Words. December 01, 2002, 04:00 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
The Ken Goldstein Project :: bringing the joy of Ken Goldstein to the world brings a new KG photo to light, cortesy of one Anthony Russo!…
KG: US Open Champeen
(40 Words. September 13, 2002, 07:06 AM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
The Ken Goldstein Project updates today with a surprising story from the world of sports. It seems that our boy is quite the tennis player. And in case you’d not noted it: FRIDAY THE THIRTEEN COME ONNA FRIDAY THIS MONTH!…
Ken: seen in Chitown.
(74 Words. September 08, 2002, 07:19 PM, Comments: 8) MORE >>>
Bells and Whistles has some lovely images for the Ken Goldstein Project - they’ll be at the Project site soon. I’d like to point out that I think this qualifies as some sort of success. Let there be… Ken! I wonder if Ken’s 13-year old buddy is onto the KGP yet. I think some sort of prize should be offered…
KGP highlights
(201 Words. September 05, 2002, 11:16 AM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
I was so busy batting cleanup yesterday I did not have time to point out some highlights of the Ken Goldstein Project submissions and props. First, the mask is available for download, with complete instructions right on the sheet. I designed the mask to also be hung as a street poster, so if you walk to work, consider copying a…
Frankenstein and le Petit Chou
(52 Words. September 04, 2002, 06:39 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
The Ken Goldstein Project update! I finally got sendmail actually shipping out autoreponders properly. I won’t bore you with details. Sadly, this barroom brawl prevented early, and timely, posting of images recieved from the lovely and talented Little Cabbage, or the brilliant relationship counselor Frankenstein. As Ken has said, “AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!”…
Introducing the Ken Goldstein Project
(261 Words. September 04, 2002, 07:40 AM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
And at last, I’m proud to announce the open-sourcing of what began as my Ken Goldstein of the Week. But you know what? It’s so much larger than only me. Ken truly belongs to the world now - to each and every one of us that holds that little somethin’ that we call “Ken” in our hearts. May I present…
OUR Ken Goldstein of the Week
(15 Words. August 30, 2002, 12:20 PM, Comments: 4) MORE >>>
Will ya look at that. It’s a veritable crowd of KGs, at the Green Cat….
KGOTW: Behind the Mask
(25 Words. August 23, 2002, 07:52 AM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Crikey! It’s a Ken Goldstein in the wild at the Center for Wooden Boats this past weekend! Oo nar, we don’t wanna rile ‘im naow……
Seen in one of my old art history books
(394 Words. August 13, 2002, 07:18 AM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
Goldstein, Lemuel K. ca. 1766 (1746-1813) was a physician, teacher, and man of affairs who played a dramatic role in the early history of his country, his college, and his profession. A man of contradictions, he practiced and taught the backward medical art of bloodletting, yet was far ahead of his time in the care of the mentally ill….
Buck Wooley weighs in
(268 Words. August 06, 2002, 05:44 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
ken goldskee: yourn, this week garnered a comment I thought worthy of promotion, from one “Buck Wooley”, a skee-baller (see below) of great repute (bolds and italics mine): Dear Sir, I understand that you felt the need to profess your love of Ken Goldstein with a sincere description of his character. But as another admirer of “the steen”, I feel…
A helpful guide to your ID: KGOTW
(396 Words. August 06, 2002, 04:18 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
Ken has published a helpful guide to The Illuminated Donkey which makes reference to the infamous issue #15. Sought after by collectors due to it’s careful documentation of the history of Philadelphia’s Museum of Skin Ailments (and the relationship of said museum to LA’s Museum of Jurassic Technology) as well as previously unpublished photos of Marilyn Monroe, #15 also reprinted…
ken goldskee: yourn, this week
(472 Words. August 01, 2002, 07:49 AM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
Ken is a husky fellow, who is actually physically larger than I believe he thinks himself - strapping, one might say. Yet he’s generally somewhat retiring in demeanor, although quite capable of outbursts given the proper stimulus. He’s neither slender nor plump, yet his huskiness is not particularly of the athletic variety. He is somewhat self-conscious about his weight. He…
your KEN GOLDSTEIN of the week
(362 Words. July 23, 2002, 07:29 AM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
Ken, in his really outstanding, can’t-emphasize-the-excellence-of-it-enough blog, The Illuminated Donkey, today covers skee-ball, in general, as a topic. He opens with an idle boast concerning his skee-ball prowess, which, via the comments section, quickly escalates to shut-em-down style knowledgeable commentary in which he offhandedy notes both a recent high-score (a shut yer trap 540) and the fack that he’s…
.. and a bonus KG
(28 Words. July 22, 2002, 10:15 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
The Ken Goldstein I’d been meaning to post this for AEONS. But alas, I kep’ fergttin’. Courtesy this place, well known earlier this year in the blogocracy….
KG, at sea
(168 Words. July 16, 2002, 05:19 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Well, this week I’d intended to introduce a new, exciting concept to the blogosphere, which would take the world by storm and yield articles in the Economist (I said I’m SORRY! Geez!) and the NYT, but instead, since I’m too busy (writing assignments, a trip next week) I’ll share with you the very first fan-submitted Ken Goldstein of the…
A mailbox in my neighborhood.
(12 Words. July 13, 2002, 07:07 AM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
Click to enlarge. um, I suppose I should crosslink to here….
Ihr Ken Goldstein der Woche
(79 Words. July 10, 2002, 07:44 AM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
All I can say is, I’m sorry it took so long. I don’t know what I was thinking. Click the pic and a larger image which will be perfect for printing as a sticker will appear. Let’s all do our part! UPDATE: Just to make things easy for you, here’s a 337k .gif which you can simply print off and…
Ken et some croc
(216 Words. July 08, 2002, 06:04 PM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
Good pal and inexplicable focus of my weekly “Ken Goldstein of the Week” feature Ken Goldstein did the only sensible thing a single man of 30 summers can do when presented with a four day weekend in the United States: he took a road trip. He drove east to near Nashville, and then southwest into Georgia and South Carolina. Why,…
Li'l Kay-Gee
(29 Words. July 04, 2002, 07:12 AM, Comments: 5) MORE >>>
Click will open a 1200 pixel-wide version. Here are sketches. It seems that Mr. Goldstein was once featured in a series of long-forgotten Gold Key comics. Happy Fourth!…
Sources reveal KG-DT defense in the works
(454 Words. June 19, 2002, 12:40 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
NEWS FLASH!!! An anonymous source high within the executive hierarchy of the “least grating” of the NYC/NJ blogs, Ken Goldstein’s Illuminated Donkey, has revealed to mike.whybark.com that Mr. Goldstein (or “Kenny-Boy” as he would be known to President Bush if they ever meet) is hard at work defending his claim to be Deep Throat as covered here yesterday. Our source,…
DT: KG - NJ blogger comes clean, admits all
(301 Words. June 18, 2002, 07:46 AM, Comments: 7) MORE >>>
In a startling development to the evergreen “Who was Deep Throat” mystery, veteran blogger and beloved trencherman Ken Goldstein, of Jersey City, New Jersey, admitted to this writer in a personal email that he was in fact Deep Throat, the secret inside source that catapulted cub reporters Bob Woodward and Robert Redford to national prominence in the mid-seventies Hal…
Bobblehead 2
(72 Words. June 13, 2002, 04:49 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
Uh, I really didn’t mean to spend more time on this. But I did. Nets fans, think of this as a consolation prize. Here’s a way, way too-dark quicktime movie of the object in action. I don’t know why it’s so dark. Maybe the horse I brought in to work on the soundtrack was blocking the light or something. Update:…
Your KG Bobblehead!
(111 Words. June 10, 2002, 04:07 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Heeere it is! In commemoration of the historic NBA finals of 2002 - your Ken Goldstein of the week! I closely considered having the bobblehead hold his head in shame and fear, reflecting his emotions concerning the performance of his beloved Nets thus far, but in the end declined to do so as a) my subject is of a…
Votre Ken Goldstein du semain
(33 Words. June 04, 2002, 04:04 PM, Comments: 4) MORE >>>
Here, the charming mug of Jersey’s favorite Rutgers grad beams in happy welcome to yours truly in the parking area of JFK. This is the shot on which the cartoon Ken was based….
YOUR Kenneth G. de la semana
(53 Words. May 30, 2002, 12:35 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
This week’s KG features the little guy demonstrating his theory of ancient egyptian hieroglyphic bloggage at the Met. A virtual Otter Pop to the site visitor who first correctly identifies the photoshop spoofing herein employed! I was gonna do a KG bobblehead, but I couldn’t find any decent pix on ebay. Someday, however…….
YOUR K.G. of the week
(29 Words. May 22, 2002, 07:05 AM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
And here it is! Drawn from a photo of Ken when he picked me up at the airport, it’s suitable to send home to Mom! Posted early for YOU!…
YOUR Ken Goldstein of the week
(293 Words. May 16, 2002, 07:45 AM, Comments: 4) MORE >>>
Here it is! Suitable for framing, using as a desktop, or any such thing that strikes your fancy. I have a very limited supply of Ken Goldsteins, and would like to take the opportunity to solicit more Ken Goldsteins. I will, I promise, add to the publically available selection, and possibly - just possibly - make amusing photoshop art with…
Thud
(37 Words. September 06, 2005, 09:15 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
It has come to my attention that I have a blinding headache. It has also come to my attention that KG, friend of my yoot, is now a Manhattanite, abiding deep in darkest Bleecker Street. Lucky bastidge….
What is it that makes a house a home?
(636 Words. July 05, 2005, 10:56 PM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
Viv and I have been consumed, eaten alive, devoured by househunting. On Saturday, before enjoying some sprawling dinner and drinks with Greg and Stacey, we saw no less than fifteen houses in an all-day marathon. Some were good, some were bad, none were it. I particularly liked a 1947 house in near-ish southwest Seattle near a golf course, to…
Deep Throat, Episode III
(199 Words. May 31, 2005, 06:06 PM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
NYT: F.B.I. Official Revealed He Was Watergate Source in Interview WASHINGTON, May 31 — W. Mark Felt, a senior F.B.I. official during the Nixon administration, was the “Deep Throat” of Watergate lore, the secret source who provided information that helped Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein of The Washington Post unravel the scandals of Richard Nixon’s White House, the newspaper…
Murph!
(46 Words. January 05, 2005, 04:46 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
On my way home from work today, I ran into fellow KG-appreciator Murph, who was hurrying home to tend to his ailing spouse. We discussed Ken’s recently-revealed secret career. It was great to see him, and hopefully I’ll run into him again at the bus stop….
The Seated Battle
(546 Words. October 05, 2004, 08:24 PM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
Personae dramatis BOB, a meathead sports announcer out of central casting GOLDIE, a person of ethnicity with a background in sports bookmaking Setting: The television coverage of a second-rank mid-size purse wrestling match, with a title at stake, sometime in the nineteen-seventies. — BOB: Goldie, who’s your pick here tonite at the big Veep Smackdown? We’ve seen that “Big…
What's with the muttonchops?
(97 Words. June 25, 2004, 05:41 PM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
danelope strikes back, taking vengeance for both Danelope Week and Ken Goldstein of the Week Week. Dan also notes that he hopes to instantiate a weekly beering of the pale and nerdly, a goal I can heartily get behind. I especially endorse the goal as a means to develop further diabolical plots and nefarious schemes devoted to the appreciation and…
Where's Ken?
(2 Words. May 05, 2004, 09:01 AM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Where’s Ken?…
Meet "Ben"
(135 Words. March 18, 2004, 10:06 PM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
Online Poker: Hold ‘Em and Hide ‘Em [NYT] Excerpts from the opening (Quoted bold italics mine): “Ben” sleeps five hours a night; the rest of the time he sits at his desk in his “Brooklyn” apartment playing online poker. He won $5… “Ben” quit his “teaching” job five months ago and now makes around $100 an hour. Five days a…
More promo items
(75 Words. March 12, 2004, 02:24 PM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
In a former life, I designed promotional items that were quite similiar to the promo materials a political campaign might employ. Therefore, please take and reproduce these KG ‘04 items. Site badge: (You should link to Ken’s website when you run this, I think.) Site Banner (I may revise this): (links to a 468 x 60 banner.) Bumper strip (this…
If elected, ...
(0 Words. March 11, 2004, 04:46 PM, Comments: 6) MORE >>>
Proof of something or other
(61 Words. February 18, 2004, 05:08 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
The Illuminated Donkey has been laid off. When a hard-working man the likes of Ken Goldstein gets the axe it’s a powerful argument for a universe free of oversight. Maybe he’ll blow his unemployment on a visit. Time for a drink. Actually, come to think of it, he’s like the third person I heard of getting the axe this month….
Donk-Cision '04: Vermin Supreme!
(56 Words. January 28, 2004, 04:34 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
The Illuminated Donkey contues continues the standard-setting coverage of the hot and heavy Democratic primary season with a hard-hitting memoir and backgrounder on Vermin Supreme, whose web server looks to be down, alas. I anxiously await the next bulletin from fellow correspondent B2. With news resources such as these, democracy sleeps safely tonight….
Suddenly it all makes sense
(149 Words. January 08, 2004, 02:13 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
In November, I recieved a peculiar postcard, which I noted and shared here, thinking it somehow foreshadowed an event involving Ken, an ex-coworker of both of ours, and a story involving fecal matter. At that time I did not share the message on the back of the card, as I found it obtuse, possibly a feeble ‘jest.’ Now it’s all…
Regarding that deal memo
(515 Words. January 07, 2004, 04:49 PM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
To: Britney Alexander, Acquisitions, BTVP From: Mike Whybark RE: Kensapoppin’ Dear Britney: Thank you for your recent missive concerning your forthcoming effort, “Kenny, Big & Tall.” While we understand your disappointment at the MOW status for the project (quite a step down from the two-part, twelve-hour HBO MS we were discussing in Vegas), the projected demography for the piece makes…
The Century
(114 Words. December 17, 2003, 05:32 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Late-breaking news: This rarely-reproduced shot of the now-forgotten and unrecorded first flight - one hundred years ago today - was deliberately excluded from early aviation histories because of the thoughtless presence of Ken Wright in the frame. Wright had just arrived on the scene, having lost hundreds of dollars at an all-night poker game on the Coast Guard base just…
The third Wright
(70 Words. December 17, 2003, 12:10 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
As I was investigating various Wright-related imagebanks, what should I uncover but this amazing find, which appears to reveal the existence of a previously unknown Wright Brother. It’s thought, I think, that the third Wright, seen here for the first time, mostly stayed at home in Ohio, feeling vaguely dissatisfied and making occasional forays into humor writing. Later, he…
More on Ken's dilemma
(80 Words. December 13, 2003, 03:58 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
Ken sent me this card recently. Shortly thereafter, a humorous aside he’d written more than a year ago generated an angry letter from an ex-coworker whom we’re both fond of and hold in high esteem. He’s a laugh-riot, ladies and gentlemen, a reg’lar Henny Newman! He’s taken the Mel Brooks exposition of Aristotle’s Treatise on Humor and turned himself…
I win! I win! It's meeeee
(92 Words. August 31, 2003, 12:31 AM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
The Illuminated Donkey announced that when the counter over there rolled over to 100,000, a prize involving obscure 80’s films on VHS might be in the offing. Well, I must be getting old, cuz I had nothing better to do between 11:50 and 12:15 tonight except to kick that puppy over! No cheating or chicanery was involved - just good…
KGOTW: Fireworks number
(45 Words. July 05, 2003, 01:06 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Paul celebrated a birthday in company with Ken, leading, inevitably, to the return of Ken Goldstein of the Week here at mike.whybark.com. We spent the fourth in company of tennis Friends of the Donk Matt and Bader, and Ken was fondly discussed more than once….
Ken should be thanking his lucky stars
(36 Words. May 15, 2003, 05:00 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
Larry’s Face: what could have been. Scroll down to see what Fark did with Larry Goldfarb. NOTE the dancing banana. Ah, alas, sweet glory of the KGP; for it could have been Ken. hmmm… hmm!…
PBJT
(38 Words. May 05, 2003, 05:06 PM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
The Illuminated Donkey gets an unexpected passenger, courtesy sneaky sneaky me. Click here, and hit “reload”; then enjoy the new improved look of the “Donk”. Shouldn’t we really be calling him “K-Donk,” and not the threadbare moniker, “K-Dog”?…
Ken: Seattle at last
(23 Words. April 28, 2003, 07:07 AM, Comments: 7) MORE >>>
Ken Goldstein, Seattle, Washington. Linda’s Tavern, Friday April 25, 2003 (No pixels were harmed in the making of this picture. Click to enzoomify.)…
Sigh. Not AGAIN!
(50 Words. April 23, 2003, 07:24 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
Deep Throat Identified … again. Didn’t we hear of this of this and then dispose of it last June? It IS verrrry interesting, though, that Ken “scheduled” his “trip” to “Vegas” to …coincide with this announcement. [raises eyebrow theatrically, puffs pipe, surreptitiously checks elbow patches on tweed jacket]…
KGP redux
(78 Words. March 17, 2003, 01:10 PM, Comments: 4) MORE >>>
The Ken Goldstein Project appears to be minimally functional again. Not to go into detail, but for the devheads out there, it appears that some file corruption was disallowing access to the tables - duping them at the system level, and renaming, solved the problem. Er, make that ‘solved,’ since I don’t have a genuine technical solution, just a functional…
I'm just sayin', is all
(114 Words. March 08, 2003, 12:20 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Broadway Goes Silent As Musicians Strike: NEW YORK (AP) — The sound of music has stopped on Broadway. Virtually every musical shut down Friday after their musicians went on strike, and actors and stagehands refused to cross picket lines. Eighteen shows, including such big hits as “Hairspray,” “The Lion King,” “Mamma Mia!” and “La Boheme,” went dark, and producers canceled…
KENSAPOPPIN': a fond look back (part 3)
(463 Words. March 07, 2003, 07:28 AM, Comments: 4) MORE >>>
A casting dispute Kensapoppin’!, as the world will recall, was the briefly-produced big budget “one-man” show featuring noted blogger and Skee-Ball historian Ken Goldstein. The show was never reviewed and first-hand accounts of the three full-scale performances that were mounted after weeks of full-cast practice and countless rewrites are rare. We are fortunate to be able to offer a reproduction…
KENSAPOPPIN': a fond look back (part 2)
(908 Words. March 06, 2003, 07:23 AM, Comments: 4) MORE >>>
Kensapoppin’: an excerpt Kensapoppin’ was a very short-lived musical which attempted to fuse Skee-ball, then thought be on the verge of a national vogue, with an examination of the burgeoning issues of privacy in the age of the internet and celebrity, using the metaphor of the everyman and the superhero. We at mike.whybark.com are devoting the final three instalments of…
KENSAPOPPIN': a fond look back (part 1)
(336 Words. March 05, 2003, 07:18 AM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Introduction Lost to the ages, the short-running show Kensapoppin’ examined issues of public and private identity and is hailed as a lost masterpiece of early-21st century musical theater. A high-profile spat doomed the show just before opening day. Join us at mike.whybark.com as we go backstage to unveil the mythos – and some of the surprising material – behind Broadway’s…
Mug Shot
(84 Words. March 04, 2003, 07:30 AM, Comments: 4) MORE >>>
In a welcome relief from our foray into the seamy underbelly of Kenny G’s secret life as wanna-be Vegas playa, our entry today will be familiar to assiduous readers of Ken’s comments section. The lovely Heather of Little Cabbage made it known that she’d recieved a certain sort of drinking vessel from the KGP Emporium. Man, what a relief! Those…
Ken the Croupier
(62 Words. March 03, 2003, 07:48 AM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
Aw, you didn’t think that Ken really dressed up in an Elvis fat suit, now didja? Nope, his REAL career in Vegas is as a croupier. Here’s a candid shot of Ken engaging in some harmeless horseplay with the tableboss’s ex-wife. Whoop it up you, you scamp! This has been your Ken Goldstein of the Week Week Entry NUMBER THREE!!!…
Big Kel: TCB, baby
(107 Words. March 02, 2003, 07:50 AM, Comments: 7) MORE >>>
The preceding entry, naturally, brought thoughts of Vegas to your suspicious minds. That would of course be both correct and appropriate. By incredible coincidence, later that same evening, the main attraction was introduced to a sell-out crowd, fans eagerly awaiting a chance to hear the famous and stirring main theme from Kensapoppin’. To the crowd’s stunned surprise, a legendary entertainer…
It's Ken Goldstein of the Week Week!
(75 Words. March 01, 2003, 07:18 AM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
Due to a surprising wave of third-party Ken Goldstein of the Week submissions, I have no choice but to declare this to be Ken Goldstein of the Week Week! Paul Frankenstein gets things rolling with a riff on a post of his own, bringing concrete photographic proof that our dear L’il Kay-Gee is - yowsa - kw-ITE the playa. THIS…
KG of the week!
(52 Words. February 09, 2003, 02:43 PM, Comments: 6) MORE >>>
The Ken Goldstein Project features two stunning views of Ken Goldstein from the winking shutter of one Paul Frankenstein. One in particular is simply a standout, a sheer marvel of the Goldstein watcher’s art. Monumental, one might say. Inspiring. Majestic. Planetary. Sadly, no photographic record of KG masquers was in evidence….
Courtesy Frankenstein
(64 Words. January 30, 2003, 07:32 AM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
Where did Ken get that cool shirt? The KGP shop. Need I say more? (All proceeds will go to renewing Ken’s lifetime subscription to the Atlantic Monthly.) I must note that the good Dr. Frankenstein set up the shop, soething I’ve meant to do, but been dissuaded from due to certain unknown parties stuffing the ballot box over at…
Happy New Year!
(34 Words. January 01, 2003, 12:01 PM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
Aw, he’s cute like that! …and in other news, I start at Danger Island on Monday. I interviewed on Tuesday and it was the most pleasant, interesting, and relaxed job interview I’ve ever had….
more on the lower case
(367 Words. December 31, 2002, 07:28 AM, Comments: 7) MORE >>>
Yowsa! I’m all tapped out for the day - you can find my blatherings here, in the comments on lower-case i, wherein all and sundry have offered opinion and diagnostic on the Great Internet Controversy of Ought-Two, (or is that the great internet controversy of ought to) including a spirited and technologically-informed defense of the capital-I Internet usage by the…
KG from AZ
(23 Words. December 23, 2002, 10:50 AM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
The Ken Goldstein Project has posted photographic evidence of further Chicagoan adventures on the part of one Ken Goldstein, courtesy Anne Zender!…
Donkey poser
(185 Words. December 10, 2002, 08:03 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Out-guilting my mother, noted holiday celebrations expert Ken Goldstein notes that he’s already bought my Christmas present, and handily provided a direct link to it so that I can precisely calibrate the appropriate item to reciprocate with. Some might say that the creation of one’s own personal fan club might be a fair exchange, but far be it from me…
Ken!
(26 Words. December 01, 2002, 04:00 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
The Ken Goldstein Project :: bringing the joy of Ken Goldstein to the world brings a new KG photo to light, cortesy of one Anthony Russo!…
KG: US Open Champeen
(40 Words. September 13, 2002, 07:06 AM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
The Ken Goldstein Project updates today with a surprising story from the world of sports. It seems that our boy is quite the tennis player. And in case you’d not noted it: FRIDAY THE THIRTEEN COME ONNA FRIDAY THIS MONTH!…
Ken: seen in Chitown.
(74 Words. September 08, 2002, 07:19 PM, Comments: 8) MORE >>>
Bells and Whistles has some lovely images for the Ken Goldstein Project - they’ll be at the Project site soon. I’d like to point out that I think this qualifies as some sort of success. Let there be… Ken! I wonder if Ken’s 13-year old buddy is onto the KGP yet. I think some sort of prize should be offered…
KGP highlights
(201 Words. September 05, 2002, 11:16 AM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
I was so busy batting cleanup yesterday I did not have time to point out some highlights of the Ken Goldstein Project submissions and props. First, the mask is available for download, with complete instructions right on the sheet. I designed the mask to also be hung as a street poster, so if you walk to work, consider copying a…
Frankenstein and le Petit Chou
(52 Words. September 04, 2002, 06:39 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
The Ken Goldstein Project update! I finally got sendmail actually shipping out autoreponders properly. I won’t bore you with details. Sadly, this barroom brawl prevented early, and timely, posting of images recieved from the lovely and talented Little Cabbage, or the brilliant relationship counselor Frankenstein. As Ken has said, “AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!”…
Introducing the Ken Goldstein Project
(261 Words. September 04, 2002, 07:40 AM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
And at last, I’m proud to announce the open-sourcing of what began as my Ken Goldstein of the Week. But you know what? It’s so much larger than only me. Ken truly belongs to the world now - to each and every one of us that holds that little somethin’ that we call “Ken” in our hearts. May I present…
OUR Ken Goldstein of the Week
(15 Words. August 30, 2002, 12:20 PM, Comments: 4) MORE >>>
Will ya look at that. It’s a veritable crowd of KGs, at the Green Cat….
KGOTW: Behind the Mask
(25 Words. August 23, 2002, 07:52 AM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Crikey! It’s a Ken Goldstein in the wild at the Center for Wooden Boats this past weekend! Oo nar, we don’t wanna rile ‘im naow……
Seen in one of my old art history books
(394 Words. August 13, 2002, 07:18 AM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
Goldstein, Lemuel K. ca. 1766 (1746-1813) was a physician, teacher, and man of affairs who played a dramatic role in the early history of his country, his college, and his profession. A man of contradictions, he practiced and taught the backward medical art of bloodletting, yet was far ahead of his time in the care of the mentally ill….
Buck Wooley weighs in
(268 Words. August 06, 2002, 05:44 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
ken goldskee: yourn, this week garnered a comment I thought worthy of promotion, from one “Buck Wooley”, a skee-baller (see below) of great repute (bolds and italics mine): Dear Sir, I understand that you felt the need to profess your love of Ken Goldstein with a sincere description of his character. But as another admirer of “the steen”, I feel…
A helpful guide to your ID: KGOTW
(396 Words. August 06, 2002, 04:18 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
Ken has published a helpful guide to The Illuminated Donkey which makes reference to the infamous issue #15. Sought after by collectors due to it’s careful documentation of the history of Philadelphia’s Museum of Skin Ailments (and the relationship of said museum to LA’s Museum of Jurassic Technology) as well as previously unpublished photos of Marilyn Monroe, #15 also reprinted…
ken goldskee: yourn, this week
(472 Words. August 01, 2002, 07:49 AM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
Ken is a husky fellow, who is actually physically larger than I believe he thinks himself - strapping, one might say. Yet he’s generally somewhat retiring in demeanor, although quite capable of outbursts given the proper stimulus. He’s neither slender nor plump, yet his huskiness is not particularly of the athletic variety. He is somewhat self-conscious about his weight. He…
your KEN GOLDSTEIN of the week
(362 Words. July 23, 2002, 07:29 AM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
Ken, in his really outstanding, can’t-emphasize-the-excellence-of-it-enough blog, The Illuminated Donkey, today covers skee-ball, in general, as a topic. He opens with an idle boast concerning his skee-ball prowess, which, via the comments section, quickly escalates to shut-em-down style knowledgeable commentary in which he offhandedy notes both a recent high-score (a shut yer trap 540) and the fack that he’s…
.. and a bonus KG
(28 Words. July 22, 2002, 10:15 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
The Ken Goldstein I’d been meaning to post this for AEONS. But alas, I kep’ fergttin’. Courtesy this place, well known earlier this year in the blogocracy….
KG, at sea
(168 Words. July 16, 2002, 05:19 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Well, this week I’d intended to introduce a new, exciting concept to the blogosphere, which would take the world by storm and yield articles in the Economist (I said I’m SORRY! Geez!) and the NYT, but instead, since I’m too busy (writing assignments, a trip next week) I’ll share with you the very first fan-submitted Ken Goldstein of the…
A mailbox in my neighborhood.
(12 Words. July 13, 2002, 07:07 AM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
Click to enlarge. um, I suppose I should crosslink to here….
Ihr Ken Goldstein der Woche
(79 Words. July 10, 2002, 07:44 AM, Comments: 1) MORE >>>
All I can say is, I’m sorry it took so long. I don’t know what I was thinking. Click the pic and a larger image which will be perfect for printing as a sticker will appear. Let’s all do our part! UPDATE: Just to make things easy for you, here’s a 337k .gif which you can simply print off and…
Ken et some croc
(216 Words. July 08, 2002, 06:04 PM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
Good pal and inexplicable focus of my weekly “Ken Goldstein of the Week” feature Ken Goldstein did the only sensible thing a single man of 30 summers can do when presented with a four day weekend in the United States: he took a road trip. He drove east to near Nashville, and then southwest into Georgia and South Carolina. Why,…
Li'l Kay-Gee
(29 Words. July 04, 2002, 07:12 AM, Comments: 5) MORE >>>
Click will open a 1200 pixel-wide version. Here are sketches. It seems that Mr. Goldstein was once featured in a series of long-forgotten Gold Key comics. Happy Fourth!…
Sources reveal KG-DT defense in the works
(454 Words. June 19, 2002, 12:40 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
NEWS FLASH!!! An anonymous source high within the executive hierarchy of the “least grating” of the NYC/NJ blogs, Ken Goldstein’s Illuminated Donkey, has revealed to mike.whybark.com that Mr. Goldstein (or “Kenny-Boy” as he would be known to President Bush if they ever meet) is hard at work defending his claim to be Deep Throat as covered here yesterday. Our source,…
DT: KG - NJ blogger comes clean, admits all
(301 Words. June 18, 2002, 07:46 AM, Comments: 7) MORE >>>
In a startling development to the evergreen “Who was Deep Throat” mystery, veteran blogger and beloved trencherman Ken Goldstein, of Jersey City, New Jersey, admitted to this writer in a personal email that he was in fact Deep Throat, the secret inside source that catapulted cub reporters Bob Woodward and Robert Redford to national prominence in the mid-seventies Hal…
Bobblehead 2
(72 Words. June 13, 2002, 04:49 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
Uh, I really didn’t mean to spend more time on this. But I did. Nets fans, think of this as a consolation prize. Here’s a way, way too-dark quicktime movie of the object in action. I don’t know why it’s so dark. Maybe the horse I brought in to work on the soundtrack was blocking the light or something. Update:…
Your KG Bobblehead!
(111 Words. June 10, 2002, 04:07 PM, Comments: 2) MORE >>>
Heeere it is! In commemoration of the historic NBA finals of 2002 - your Ken Goldstein of the week! I closely considered having the bobblehead hold his head in shame and fear, reflecting his emotions concerning the performance of his beloved Nets thus far, but in the end declined to do so as a) my subject is of a…
Votre Ken Goldstein du semain
(33 Words. June 04, 2002, 04:04 PM, Comments: 4) MORE >>>
Here, the charming mug of Jersey’s favorite Rutgers grad beams in happy welcome to yours truly in the parking area of JFK. This is the shot on which the cartoon Ken was based….
YOUR Kenneth G. de la semana
(53 Words. May 30, 2002, 12:35 PM, Comments: 0) MORE >>>
This week’s KG features the little guy demonstrating his theory of ancient egyptian hieroglyphic bloggage at the Met. A virtual Otter Pop to the site visitor who first correctly identifies the photoshop spoofing herein employed! I was gonna do a KG bobblehead, but I couldn’t find any decent pix on ebay. Someday, however…….
YOUR K.G. of the week
(29 Words. May 22, 2002, 07:05 AM, Comments: 3) MORE >>>
And here it is! Drawn from a photo of Ken when he picked me up at the airport, it’s suitable to send home to Mom! Posted early for YOU!…
YOUR Ken Goldstein of the week
(293 Words. May 16, 2002, 07:45 AM, Comments: 4) MORE >>>
Here it is! Suitable for framing, using as a desktop, or any such thing that strikes your fancy. I have a very limited supply of Ken Goldsteins, and would like to take the opportunity to solicit more Ken Goldsteins. I will, I promise, add to the publically available selection, and possibly - just possibly - make amusing photoshop art with…
