As noted recently, I clubbed Viv across the head and dragged her by her hair to attend a suite of Oscar nominated films this past weekend. I’ve already treated of There Will Be Blood, my pick for best of the three. I will ho’d off on No Country For Old Men as the film provoked the most complex, postmodern reactions in my mind and I’m not done thinking about it.
Juno, on the other hand, lived up to its’ rep and my expected response. I don’t think I have anything in specific to contribute to the critical literature on the film, but I wanted to get my own experience down so that a few years from now, I can consult my own record.
The film first came to my attention on seeing the flat-out terrific first trailer sometime this summer, possibly preceding Ratatouille or Knocked Up. I actually forced everyone I work with to watch the trailer, something I avoid in general, being quite aware that the quality of a trailer has literally nothing to do with the quality of the film it advertises.
When the film opened, I was interested to read and hear some of the press work associated with the film’s publicity, interviews with the scriptwriter and director, that sort of thing. When I gained a sense of the narrative arc of the film - teenage pregnancy ends in smiles thanks to the miracle of adoption - my interest in the film plummeted to near-zero.
Now, I am an adopted person and one with a specific rage toward my birth parents, who will remain forever anonymous to me by personal choice (not that I’ve been contacted, but in closed adoptions the parties must both agree to contact as adults and I would not agree if contacted). While aware of this, I am not convinced that my drift in interest stemmed from my own background as much as it did from a sense that I had already seen the film, in Knocked Up.
Of course Juno is very different from Knocked Up. But both films treat a real-world problem - the unexpected and unwanted pregnancy - with previously unseen psychological delicacy, sympathy, and lightheartedness. Sadly, from my perspective, it appears that this particular approach is one which I find tiresome after a mere two outings. Give me angst and rage or cartoon melodrama over comedy which includes realist characterizations when babies are involved, apparently.
I feel that both films artificially resolve complicated situations that, until the falsely-happy plot resolution, are presented with sympathy and complexity. I did not find these resolutions convincing or satisfying.
Returning to Juno in particular, I specifically found the adoption plot element disinteresting as I watched the film. My attention wandered in the scenes which directly involved the adoptive couple and which were more focused on the mechanics of the impending adoption than on Juno’s impeccable taste in rock music. This is interesting to me, because I don’t think it was due to poor scripting or direction or cinematography.
I think it was psychologically defensive boredom stemming from a desire to avoid time spent in the company of my own emotions regarding my adoption. I do think I have a handle on my adoption, and it runs like this: the parents that raised me are my real parents. I love and honor them.
The parents that bore me are of no interest to me, and I bear them considerable ill will. Is that ill will based on rage at abandonment? Or is it based on coming into being? I know what my own answer to this question is, and I know that literally no-one in my circle of social relations either believes or respects my own self-analysis in this matter, something that strongly contributes to my ongoing social withdrawal.
mike whybark. 640 words. Posted at February 21, 2008 06:53 PM
It is very sad that you hold so much rage.
My son had all sorts of things in his head - until I found him.
I said to him that I just wanted to tell him my side of things - after that, I would walk away forever if that is what he wanted.
I asked him what he was told about me.
It would appear EVERYTHING that he was told about me was a lie - and I do mean everything.
His father and I did not sign a consent form - our son was literally stolen for bribes. I have taken my case all the way to the UN who have put this complaint on their official website (now in archives).
My son thought I was bluffing - until he saw it there.
He has now also found out that it is likely that his adoptive father - a doctor at a hospital - paid a large bribe for him. His adoptive father has never denied this.
It is not an issue of who you see as real parents. I accept that despite my son being stolen from me by a corrupt social worker (who has admitted to taking bribes from adoptive parents), that my son will always see them as Mom and Dad - and that's OK. I have no intention of trying to replace them - I know I could never do that (and I am sure you would agree with that).
A person cannot replace time lost - something that can be difficult to accept but now I have.
I accept that I cannot undo the wrongs of the past but that I can do things to make the present and the future better. Being a friend to my son is one of those things - a person can never have too many friends.
Important point - do you really know the truth - all of it?
My son did not. Many adoptees I know have also said that they were lied to about the circumstances of their adoption.
Did you know that some parents were told that their baby died at birth - and then the "dead" baby was put up for adoption? I even know one adoptee who was given her death certificate by her (bio) mother. She could not believe it but I can assure it is true. The social worker that stole my son from me and his father also ran a dead baby scam. She has said so. She admits doing that to a friend of mine called Tina whose story has been in the papers fairly recently as more of these cases appear.
They are hardly going to tell you about anything that could be corrupt now, could they?
Anyway, I really truly hope for your sake that you get your anger issue sorted - my anger management class showed me that it can serious damage your body as well as your mind. I know.
As for my son - after he heard my side of things which really shocked him, he asked if we could talk a bit more. I never pushed it.
After 4 years, we are now friends.
He calls me by my first name as he is comfortable with that and he still regards his adoptive parents as his real parents - and that's OK too. We have both found peace and truth now which has made our lives much better.
The anger has gone for both of us. All questions have been truthfully answered. With knowledge comes the peace he so wanted.
I hope that you can find peace in your heart one day - I really do.
A cautionary note that should be considered - if you have children, your anger will rub off on them.
Children see and feel more deeply than adults realise. Your anger would not be good for them - especially if you shorten your life with your rage and leave them orphaned. That would be very tragic for all concerned.
BTW, Juno is incredibly unrealistic - I don't know of any mother who would be singing so soon after that. I could nit-pick a lot of flaws with that film but that is not the point of this message.
Uh, drama much?
FWIW, no kids for me, thanks.
I would say it's a bit rude to imply that my parents may have been involved in some sort of baby buying evil plot in order to procure me. Where and when I was born, those things were all handled by the state - all the babynapping and slavery stuff pretty much fell under their purview.
Good job you don't have kids then - they would only end up as bitter as you.
Oh, I quite concur, and for the same reason you cite.
What is it with all of the hostility in your comments lately, Brother Mike? Between this and the "DO SOME RESEARCH ASS HOLE" deal in your There Will Be Blood review, it's getting rather YouTube in here.
Oh, I figure it's luck of the draw. I went daily again with the movies thing and that presumably affected Goog visibility. Sadly (or happily, I'm not clear on the diff) there has been no UTubesque traffic bump.
Perhaps I should go all-video-blog, to stay current, and bring the hostile masses, where they might be taxed, in the form of advertising exposure!